Receive 2 Believe

You must understand that grace is given by the Father and receive it so you can give grace in this world.

Have you heard "receive to believe"  before? Yeah, that is a great statement and catchy too.  But in my my heart I knew the definition but I didn't know the heart of grace until my 40s .  I gave grace to others and see the world in rose colored glasses...but that's another blog.

I personally didn't realize that God's grace was being given to me.  I was a punctual patty, brown noser that did her work and picked up others.  Instead of picking up more I needed to take a break.  God saw this and saw me as his beautiful beloved daughter. When I looked in the mirror I saw someone that was ; overworked, under appreciated, and hurt in ways that I didn't have words for.  To be honest I believed but had no idea how to receive. 

It took a cancer diagnosis a round of radiation and chemo and a beautiful cancer counselor to let me receive "grace".  Even then my mind thought "well, sure, I'm sick so yeah people can give me grace".  Wrong! That is not receiving grace that is making an excuse. 

In 2018 I have been challenged to "ponder" words.  The nerd in me loves that! God has been reforming my mind with words, their worldly definitions, and spirit led ones.  I was late in 2018 for; work deadlines, for friends events, dinner, and grace.

You see I had to come to grips with the reckless love of God.  That he gives more grace than I could imagine.  That he knows all my dirt and gives me grace.  He knows my thoughts and gives me grace.  He knows my pain and gives me grace....and, the list goes on. 

And, incredibly in 2018 I fully recognized what it means for "grace given grace received".  It means because He gives me grace I can receive and give grace to another.  It is a circle that repeats and there is no end.  Did you catch that....there is NO END. 

I think it is the cleverness of God to give "grace".  He wants to draw us near, to be in wonder over his infinite precision. He wants this girl to nerd out on words and broaden her mind.  He wants to blow up what I think to be true with grace.

Peace be with you- Sherry

UPDATES

* Dale, the sonshine, was invited the National Society of Leadership and Success aka Sigma Alpha Pi at Northwest Missouri State.  I'm gonna bragger mom out and tell you that he got an A is college calculus and was on the honor role.

*Emily, the darling dot, got her application and transcripts sent to Northwest and is waiting to hear back.  Pray that there is grace at Northwest for Emily and she is accepted.

*I've got a grant writer that wants to meet and work with me to help me write grants to teach art in KC and in Wagner. In 2018 I knew that what I do as a light bearer of the Father was bigger than our own budget or help from friends.  God was telling me things about places I would go in a few eyars and I thought, "yeah, nice thought" but I can't afford it.  By the fall I realized that those places were God driven purpose.  I realized in December that it can no longer just be the Ted & Sherry Show with friends helping when I sat in Wagner, South Dakota the first night after my tire blew out. If I had a grant imagine what I could do to be light, grace, and creativity to the world.

*I've been reading from Mark this year.  The words "teacher" grab at me in a way I don't remember as as kid.  Jesus was our savior but he was a "teacher".  Isn't God so good that he would grace me to be a teacher.  In Mark 1:38 it says "go somewhere else, to small towns nearby, you have to spread the Good News in them".  It's just one of the "ahhhh-ha" moments in my life to be; light, love, and creativity.  I've wrote a proposal for both places in Overland Park and Harrisonville.  Pray that they are received with grace and I can go there to teach art in 2019. 

Trepidation and Trust Start With T

In all honesty I've felt a wave of trepidation in my spirit since returning from Wagner, South Dakota on Christmas.  I can place what is making me feel uneasy, feel fear, and really just put me on edge.  I'm faith filled, love the Lord, and know he chooses me.  But there is something small inside that has been growing.  Something that is dark, menacing, and I truly don't have words for. 

As I write in my journal I each day I write the word "trepidation". I've got friends that pick words at the beginning of each year as their motto.  I've been asked by my ministry team to pick a word and write about it. I've been praying and I keep thinking, "Lord, are you kidding me? I'm not making this the year of trepidation". 

This week as I was praying and writing in my journal "trepidation" I felt something else. It was a reply from our Heavenly Father ;  "Trepidation and trust both start with T.  Which you do is your choice.  It is the sweet freedom that I gave you".  Ohh, geez, yeah, ok, I get it, Heavenly Father, I need to choose. 

I wrote this response; " thank you for allowing me to be hands and feet but realizing it can be far more than that. It is refinement, peace, and channeling of the spirit to guide, direct, and navigate with precise insight".

This week I've had the opportunity to share this with two friends.  They both told me that they needed to hear it.  I think perhaps that "trepidation and trust both start with T. Which you do is your choice. It is the sweet freedom that I gave you" is for you too.  I'm being bold today to write this and share it with you....you can share it too. 

As a side note my word for this year is not trepidation but magnitude.  Magnitude in 2019. How can I be God's magnitude of love ? Ohh, but that's another blog.  

Peace be with you- Sherry

Updates

• Sonshine ; Dale returns to college on Sunday.  Please pray over him that he can safely get to the airport to pick up his roomie and then back to Maryville. 
• Darling Dot; With the weather changes Emily is having a hard day and feels like she's in slow motion.  Over the past month her eye has started to twitch for 5 to 30 minutes at a time, multiple times during the day.  If you would pray for her health that would be remarkable. 
• Me; this week I had a friend talk with me that has a grant writer that wants to meet me, help me write a grant, and has encouraged me to dream big. She helped me to think about the word "magnitude" in a very real wonderful way.

Feather Dusting

I'm working this afternoon in my art studio to write this blog.  I've been distracted by this weaving project that I took on from strips that the kid artists in Wagner made.  It feels unfinished and each time I look at it I feel like something is wrong but I can't quite distinguish what it is.

I was reading from James this week and writing in my journal.  I wrote the words "feather dusting" and was confused as I asked God for clarification secretly praying the message wasn't "clean your house".  Thankfully, it wasn't about cleaning.  Feather dusting is just touching the surface without a lasting effect.

It made me think of the lovely feather duster that I have and how I use it to tidy up and then the next day there is dust again. It reminds me that in 2018 I prayed to see the world through God's eyes, ears, and heart.  I was blessed with that imagery this past year and seriously have cried more tears over this past year.  Instead of praying over people I have petitioned God on their behalf like the protesting peace punk I once was.  Time and time again I feel closer to our Abba Father and sense that he is "on it" or "it is so" with those petitions.  I can honestly say I love to hear "it is so" but "on it" means that I still petition until I hear "it is so".

This week with the thoughts of "feather dusting" I felt the word "atonement" again and again.  Atonement is the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ.  It made me feel that some know Christ but are too lost in their own world, uncertainties, and pain to really know Him.  We've all been there when worldly problems take over our whole thoughts, numbing us to what God is speaking to our hearts, blinding us from seeing others as God's beloveds, and deafen our ears to hear only our concerns or "father dusting".

I feel like that is where I was the first 24-36 hours that I was in Wagner, South Dakota last month. I had blown a tire on the interstate at dusk.  I was personally attacked and bashed on social media for going to Wagner when "you should stay home and find a job to pay your bills". Yeah, instead of seeing Wagner as a great opportunity to shine light, love, and grace I was filled with hurt, angst, and tears.  The next morning I woke up and broke into tears in the shower. Those tears formed into a petition to the Lord and I heard "do you trust me?".

That question continued into the morning until in tears I broke down and answered a half hearted "yes".  I went to check my messages and there were two from friends offering encouragement and telling me to set up a "Go Fund Me". I went to leave the church to get the tires checked and had two people stop me and ask for a ride. Instead, of taking them home I explained that my car wasn't working right and I needed to take it to the local shop to have it looked at.  It was the truth but it felt selfish.  My head said "your tires are a mess and might shred so ignore the ask". Instead of seeing through God's eyes I saw through my own and was selfish and told them "no".  I had the tires checked and went for a cup of coffee and when I started the car the heat wouldn't work.  I took the car back to the local shop , made an appointment, and prayed that nothing else would go wrong. 

Back at the church that afternoon my friends showed up to encourage me. God is just that awesome to realize that I was going to "feather dust" my whole time and that I needed some of his beloveds to check in with my personally to rally me.  By the afternoon I could hear "do you trust me?" and when I said "yes" I shouted with my whole heart and soul.

Things broke free by the next day as we had 18 kids come for Open Artroom.  When kids asked for a ride home Dale took them with blankets in the car to keep them warm on their ride.  It hit me that even a Sandymobile with messed up tires and no heat was a blessing not only to us but to those kids and families. In the following days the kid artists kept coming and we took five carloads of kids home in the Sandymobile, had 28-52 kid artists daily, held a "small mall" where I not only got to teach the kids what a mall is but let them shop for themselves and family.  The small mall gifted;  56 pairs of boots, 74 pairs of shoes, two pairs of cleats, football pads, two trash bags filled with flannel shirts, two tubs of mittens, gloves, scarves, along with kids and adult clothing. We were able to set up a "giving tree" at the back of All Tribes Fellowship filled with hats, scarves, gloves, and legwarmers before leaving that will bless the families in Wagner. 

Within less than five days we had the money for the tires and to fix the heat in the Sandymobile. That happened because instead of "feather dusting" I chose to clean.  To clean means to see the world with God's eyes, ears, and heart and be light, love, and grace.  When you clean it takes time, it requires doing things that we don't want or that makes you uncomfortable, but once it is done it just feels better.

I was reminded of "feather dusting" this week and challenged to write a blog about it.  I want to encourage each of you to stop "feather dusting" this year and start to clean.  Cleaning is harder, it makes us have to yell back "I trust you" to God, and to go on to be light, grace, and beauty when you'd rather curl up, surrender, and cry.

Last week I found a ton of kids winter boots at a thrift shop for fifty cents a piece.  I thought, "geez, why couldn't I have found these before Wagner".  I could have chosen to "feather dust" and walk away crabby. But I realized that my friend that lives in Wagner was in KC for the holidays who agreed to take them.  I bought two trash bags filled with kids boots and spent $14 to try to be light to the kids that we left without boots rather than "feather dust".

I mentioned that I couldn't determine what was missing from the weaving so I started to write this blog. My friend in Wagner sent me a message that said "the boots are amazing!!" with a pic of one of our kid artists with his new boots.  It dawned on me hat I had small strips from my latest work "feather dusting" that I trimmed and was going to toss.  I took those small strips from my work and wove them with the kid artists work and the result was beautiful and ready to be framed. 

This afternoon I'm thankful for ; finished artwork, the ability write this blog, to be light, grace, and love, and for friends that are there to rally your spirit & take your trash bags, and for the ability to see beyond "feather dusting".

Peace be with you- Sherry

UPDATES

• The Sandymobile rolled us into KC at 3am on Christmas day. Thanks to each and every that were praying over our trip to Wagner, donated to get repairs made, and prayed for safe travels on our way home.
• I'm looking forward to having kid artists in my studio starting next week for Creation Station kids art classes.  I've got a full schedule of art classes for January posted on the Mamasunbear2 Facebook page.  
• Emily received a full scholarship through Vocational Rehab this week so she can go back to college full time.  She is hoping to go to Northwest Missouri State this coming fall. 
• I'm focusing on my artwork this year.  I'll be adapting my Etsy shop to sell some of my original pieces within the next couple of months and am looking for other avenues to display my work in the KC area.

Warrior Rally

I'm sure a few of you have seen Marvels Infinity War or perhaps read it in the comics?  As the war rages on there is is this ominous music in the background that really helps to bring catharsis to what is playing out on the screen with characters literally turning to dust before our eyes.  Why bring that up, Sherry?  

Well, here's why.  This spring I could sense a change in myself.  One that is reminiscent of the kid I was but without the fear or disillusionment that others expectations or the world placed on me.  I'm 48 not 8 anymore, right?  I've had a few battles in my life time on this world and I've reconciled things with our Heavenly Father.  

This spring I felt something turn as I prayed with friends and felt the father's compassion in their prayers over me and my family. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and no longer went to duck and cover thinking that it was going to turn me to dust.  Instead, I welcomed, the distraction from the world brought on by the Holy Spirit. 

We went to Wagner this summer and on the way home as the kids were asleep in the car in my head I heard that ominous music from Infinity War start to play in my head.  It came into my thoughts that the world is at war and no matter where I would turn ; Wagner, KC, or anywhere else there was a war raging with people being played like pawns turning to dust in the wind.  It literally took my breath away to say the least.  It had me praying over what was I supposed to do other than be your hands and feet, God?

When we got home I realized that our home was a merely a home base for our family.  Quite simply instead of what Dale, my son, once called "our castle" as a kid I saw it as the 103, our house number.  A place where we could find solace, rest, and a home base.  God has been challenging me not to marginalize who I am, why I was created, and to free myself from old wounds and scars that the world has placed on me.  That's huge for me to not allow blame, shame, and hurt to define me but to ask God what he sees, to take time to listen, and then rejoice because its always far more glam than the worldly view.  

I took the position this year with The Single Mom KC as their children's ministries coordinator.  All the years that I've spent spinning my wheels for the Lord was coming to fruition.  I had an actual name tag with that name on it and it didn't mean a thing because it was a worldly title and there is no end of title, merit for this beloved daughter of the King.  At the fall event there were a series of whatever can go wrong will go wrong moments . God's love, encouragement, and a filled heart of grace, love, and perspective in the spirit had me rally.  It had me take time to pray and hear God say, "Sherry, there will be incidentals, trust me, for you it will feel like more but to me they are incidentals".  I chose to walk in the spirit, to trust, and to His glory I could see it was the world and darkness seeking to disrupt the day, what I had planned for the kids, what light God was going to release and break free.  I chose to see it as incidentals, trust God, and walk in the spirit. 

I wrote in my journal praise for incidentals and God responded by encouraging me and sharing.  He reminded me that at 5 years old I knew I wanted to be a teacher.  That I had allowed the others reflections and presence define who he designed to be over the years.  That I had chose to despair, cry, pout, and whine but that now I choose; to seek joy, see the world in a view that causes me to laugh rather that cry, and have the eagerness of the 5 year old Sherry when God directs me.  He reminded me that I had raised two kids and they will be "warriors" of light, grace, and mercy to the world. He told me that was what I was designed to  ; "train warriors" for the battle of this life. 

I've chosen to go with this flow. The flow of the spirit most days.  It has been difficult because of my health.  I have no health insurance and no chemo meds.  I used the last of the meds for Chron's disease earlier this month and so my body swells.  Recently, I have had excruciating pain in my stomach that leaves me in tears.  The pain is the last thing I feel each night for over a month.  I cry, pray, and ask for the Holy Spirit to encompass me so I can sleep.  When I wake up I claim victory in Christs name over the day that I am alive and kicking.  Then I feel the pain from my worldly battle which is my body and sometimes nausea.  My personal health battle is menacing to say the least.  The meds that I need are too costly to afford.  I've filled out paperwork, made calls, and tried to advocate for the meds but many are generics and the drug companies say "they are at a considerable savings"...it is a savings that I can not afford.  

This month I hear the ominous music in the background and feel the world pressing into me with my health.  I choose to walk in the spirit.  I feel the weight and magnitude of my job with The Single Mom KC and lean into the spirit. When I told TSMKC that I was going to have a "warrior rally" for the kids they asked me to speak to both kids & moms.  Each morning since I hear the world tell me "you can't do that", "you have no voice", "you are a sham" and I walk and lean into the spirit and that makes all the difference.  I know in my heart that God is opening opportunities for this girl to enlighten "warriors" that bear his light, grace, and mercy to the world.  I know in my mind that I can write and speak.  I know in my spirit that the spirit of Christ is with me each step so I have no choice but to believe.

As we go into December I want to share a snippet of what I will be telling the "warriors" and their mamas.  In this lifetime the darkness that is the world seeks to mock lightbearers. It seeks to encompass you mentally, physically, and emotionally to the point that your light will flicker.  It is at those times we must find someone to talk to whether it be knocking on the neighbors door, calling a friend or co-worker, or seeing the person next to you and talking. Talking about what is hurting you, what you fear, etc breaks the darkness and allows Gods light that is within you to stop flickering and to shine brilliantly.  God has a reminder for dark times in the world.  It is the night sky.  When you look at the night sky you see the vastness, power, and magnitude of God.  It reminds us that although it is dark there is always light.  The light of the Lord is in the stars that shine but are totally surrounded by darkness yet they shine brilliantly to remind you that you are designed to shine with the intensity of the God, walk into life as a brilliant warrior, and be His grace, truth, mercy, and love to all.  

Ok, that's not too shabby, right?  It makes me smile to just read that last paragraph.  It is with the magnitude of the Heavens that we walk, friends.  It is with the magnitude of brilliance like the stars that we shine once we know Christ as our Savior.  It is because of that we can find joy, laughter, and hope in our lives and share that hope with our families, friends, and the world.  

Peace be with you- Sherry

UPDATES

• I need a total of $500 per month until March for meds for Chrons Diesease. Ted is starting a new job in December to get both he and I affordable health insurance that will start in March.  If you would like to help me pay for my meds that will stop the swelling, help with pain, etc. please let me know.  
• We will be heading to Wagner, South Dakota in December once Dale is done with finals.  I am collecting new socks, gently used snowboots (both kids and adults), and will have a list of art supplies I would like to take.  If you would like to help please message me. 
• December 1 is The Single Mom KC event that I will be speaking at and then helping to orchestrate "warriors" aka children at.  The event is from 9-noon.  If you would like to help with the kiddos let me know either through a donation for supplies or to come serve please let me know.

Alignment

This past month has been a dozy for our family.  Last month Dale, my son, came home for the weekend.  On his way back to Maryville his car was making a loud knocking sound.  The hubs & a good friend went to Platte City to try to figure out what was going on and to help him. Two hours later in the dark they tightened the bolt and brace that had came undone and hold the alternator in.  The last ten miles of the journey to the 'ville he realized what time it was and that he wasn't going to make the midnight deadline for an assignment.  And, yes, you guessed it he decided to speed and got pulled over.

The night of the ticket Dale called and his voice sounded like the little kid he once was.  I asked if he was ok, and then if his car was still running and if he was in an accident.  He then fessed up about getting pulled over for going 25 miles over the speed limit and fell apart over the phone.  I took a deep breath and began to pray over my sonshine.

I told him that God has great plans for him and that the officer was God's way to shake him, to make him slow down, and realize his potential could be lost in just a matter of minutes with going that fast.  I shared with him that darkness seeks to silence light and that is what he was feeling. I shared with him as much I as wanted to break the darkness that he had to do it.  Knock on someones door or his RA's door and tell them what was going on.  It is through talking, telling what is going on that we break darkness and light is reveled.

He was so quiet as I hung up the phone that my mama heart broke and tears flowed. All I could do is cry and plea for God to "ROAR" for Dale.   I live by the motto that "we don't retreat we roar".  There have been times in my life that I felt silenced, let the darkness creep further than needed, and that I couldn't even squeak let alone roar.  I started to petition God to "ROAR" for Dale and heard "I'm on it" which made me cry a little harder.  Why?  Because generally when I pray over my kids I hear "it is so" but when I hear "I'm on it" I know it is going to take some time.

My blessing is that the hubs told me the next morning "let's pray" and said "you know, Sherry, its only a speeding ticket".  Yeah, sure, only a speeding ticket.  That darn ticket has had me baffled , sleepless, being plagued with worse case scenario thoughts. I broke the darkness from KC by calling on friends to pray over Dale and our ability to pay his tickets.  I called a friend with ties to Maryville who found out legally what we could do and should do.

Monday as I prayed over his court date today, I felt like God tell me "it is aligned".  Ok, so, I want details, Lord, and he gave me some.  I felt like Dale was going to have to do community service and the fines would be less than $100.  Instead of praising God I said, "nope, just the paperwork to go to court is $390 plus the ticket and they don't do community service for speeding tickets, God, geez".  I heard "And, you didn't align it, Sherry, I did with mercy and grace for my beloveds".

Court was on Tuesday and by noon Dale called me.  He told me it was like the judge knew him already.  He was firm when he told Dale the severity of speeding and said there would be "grace" because Dale had no priors.  He gave him two options; pay over $700+ in fines and revoke his license or he would give him "grace" by allowing him to be on probation for speeding for the next year. Dale would have to do 8 hours of community service in the KC area, and have to check in with the judge periodically, and there would be a fine of $70.50, no points taken from his license and he could still drive.  He choose the second option and thanked the judge for grace and mercy.

Thankful is too small for the awe I feel for God's alignment. Ohh, my, what does alignment mean? According to Websters ; arrangement in a straight line, or in correct or appropriate relative positions". That was certainly true for court with the sonshine.  Thankful today for God's careful, diligent hands that are at work over my life, my family, my friends, and those that I have yet to meet or may never.  He beautifully orchestrates each of our paths, asks for obedience in listening to Him, gifts us his light that will always suppress darkness, and seeks to correct us into alignment to be attuned to Him, to attune to his premise and purpose in his beloved creation...that would be us.

As an afterthought here is what happened the night of the ticket; Dale didn't leave his room after our phone call.  Instead, my quiet kid, sat on his bed and then there was a knock on his door.  Someone on his floor saw him come in and knew something wasn't right.  When Dale opened the door the kid asked if he was all right and Dale told him what had happened.  And, that broke the darkness because the kid had the same thing happen to him.  Then another kid came to his room and said , "Dale, its just a speeding ticket, man, it will be ok".  By the next morning when I talked to him he told me, "Mom, you were right about breaking the darkness.  I didn't realize until last night how many people care about me".

May each of you feel the incidentals, hiccups, and know that God roars for you with a velocity and fierceness that we can not even comprehend.  He uses grace, mercy, and boundless love to light our path.  I wrote this blog to encourage each that reads it and tell you to seek the light.  That when darkness surrounds you that you must break it by reaching out to someone, anyone, that is near you, tell them what is going on, and by God's grace they will bring light.

Peace be with you- Sherry

The Case of the Hiccups

This past week has been a whirl of teaching art classes. hearing the word "hiccup" from the Lord, and having three meals with three friends that brought light, love, and laughter to my weary spirit. Here's how all filled my spirit and let me flow with grace, light, and purpose.

to church it

A hiccup is defined two ways in Websters; as a noun or verb.  The noun definition says a hiccup is an involuntary spasm of the diaphragm and respiratory organs, with a sudden closure of the glottis and a characteristic sound like that of a cough".  Listen to what the verb definition of hiccup is "suffer from or make the sound of a hiccup or series of hiccups".  A hiccup is nothing more than a reoccurring sound . It does not a trickle, ripple, or flow which are words I had earlier this year and dealt with me allowing myself to walk in a way with the Lord that let me be open to the Holy Spirit and see with eyes wide open, hear with ears that amplfy, and have my heart broken by the world around me.

Let's get back to "hiccup".  I felt like a hiccup is more distracting, annoying that "incidentals" of life that could be as simple as having your ice cream melt and drip on your hand.  A hiccup bring a sense of fear, staggers your light, and serves to interrupt the peace, trust, and love of Abba.  

This week was filled with "hiccups".  Sunday I woke up with that word "hiccup" and God told me to get ready for church, praise him, and let him refill the cracks that the world had thrown my way.  It was raining heavy and I thought of just laying there, awake, in bed, and heard "hiccup" again.  Ok, got in the car and it ran rough and I heard "hiccup" but we got going and had a red light as we went to turn onto the highway.  Then the car died and each time the hubs went to restart it it would die and in my head I hear "hiccup, hiccup, hiccup".  A gal that I knew from years past pulled alongside us and tried to help us which the hubs passes on three times "hiccup, hiccup, hiccup".  I started to pray "Father stop the hiccups and bring favor, daddy, we need your favor to get the car out of the road and back home".  The hubs and I traded spots and with another guy they pushed the car around the intersection so we were headed home.  Did I mention the car is stick...yeah, for me "hiccup".  The hubs got in the car and started it and it ran all the way home in a the pouring rain. Got it home and I asked for him to get our daughters car keys to go see if my car was still parked outside our mechanics shop; "hiccup".  He got the keys and said "we can't take her car church its got transmission issues" as he got in beside me ; "hiccup".  I shared we were going to drive to the mechanic for the Sandymobile "hiccup" that had no a/c but would get us to church if it was parked outside ; hiccup, hiccup, hiccup.  Got to the shop, hopped in the Sandymobile, and got to church late but we got there safely.  

Do you get the understanding of what a "hiccup" means? It means taking three cars to just go praise the Lord on a  rainy Sunday morning that is chilly and humid all at once.  Hiccup is the way life is in the world.  It is filled with hiccups of one sort or another.  Hiccups bring fear, doubt, and I go to my fav self doubt.  The difference this week was that God called it out for what it is.  Car problems, delays, and oh mys can plague us or make us.  If we allow a "hiccup" to continue without praise, trust, and light it will continue to happen.  If we see it as the world, acknowledge who our Heavenly Daddy is , and then trust him to grant favor it is so.  Hiccups in life seek to throw me off, drive fear and misbeliefs, and be barriers to the light. I got the chance this week to see that my hiccups are Gods glory.  Its like he laughs and tells me " Your hiccups, Sherry, they're annoying and scary for you but to me they are just hiccups walk in my light, delight in my favor, and radiate me, Sherry".  

Now back to eating this week.  I've had a case of the "hiccups" this week trying to schedule things, having things cancelled, or not turn out as I wanted.  And, truth be told when I went with each of my friends this week I thought '; you don't have time for this,  had nausea, you don't have money for this, stay in or you'll be too tired to go to South Dakota.  Something inside told me that I needed to see each friend because they would recharge my light & delight in the Lord.  There is nothing finer than women that have been through rough things, that are transparent, love the Lord and know Him, and that know the world is menacing but choose light that is the Lord.

The last hiccups came in on Wednesday afternoon when my art class in KC that I teach was cancelled and rescheduled for next month.  It gave me the opportunity to leave Thursday afternoon for South Dakota rather than at 2am on Friday.  I praised the Lord for it but heard "no one wants you, no one cares, you can't teach art, you don't know" and I stopped the darkness and said "ohh, yeah, I do know, I know the truth, I know I am a beloved daughter of the Father and he shows his favor to me" and those hiccups stopped.  

Thursday morning I woke at 5 am and thought it was just the thrill of teaching art class and then getting to go to South Dakota.  I felt like I needed to pack the Sandymobile up which the darling dot and I dd.  There were a few supplies and a couple of coats that were left but there would be time after the kid artists left my studio.  I head "pack it all now or it will stay here".  I thought that was another round of "hiccups" so I ignored it.  During art class my neighborhood was shut down by the police, we were told there was an active shooter in my neighborhood and to close my garage door and get the kid artists inside. We were given the ok to leave the neighborhood when one mom advocated that her kids were at art class with Sherry Snider.  They allowed her to go to my home and tell us that we needed to leave. Sweet blessing was in that moment when the garage door was down and we were in the art studio I heard "pray " and we did before each family went out, got loaded up, and left the neighborhood.  One kid artist was left and I told her to get in my car as Emily shut the garage door.  As we waited for Emily the SWAT team for the sheriffs department, K-9 unit, and local police passed by with riffles and glanced at us.  The K-9 went across my street to my neighbors back yard and began barking.  I began to think do I do, Lord, there's this little girl in my car and my own girl is in the house, should I go without Emily....hiccup, hiccup, hiccup.  Instead I found peace through the barking, peace that we were covered as we prayed, and Emily got in the car.  To God's glory the families from art class decided to meet at the frozen custard shop and had told Emily.  We got out kid artist reunited with her mom, collected three more pairs of tennis shoes, and left town earlier than we thought.

We stopped to pick up more shoes in Lee's Summit and Emily realized she hadn't packed her church clothes for Sunday...hiccup.  Well, our shoe pick up was at Claudias Closet so we could just buy her an outfit. I had left my tip jar and all my class money in my art room; hiccup but had deposited Etsy money in the bank on Wednesday. We repacked the Sandymobile in the parking lot, said a prayer, and the gas light came on, hiccup.  Got gas nearby and then the Sandymobile started to run rough, hiccup.  We kept going to Scraps KC to get a few materials for Open Artroom in South Dakota, and it died as I went to put it in park at the shop, hiccup.  I restarted it and it dies again, and again, hiccup, hiccup.  We got the supplies and drove to get fuel injector cleaner, hiccup.  By the time we got on the freeway it was 5pm rush hour, hiccup, with a car that dies when its not accelerating, hiccup.  I prayed "Daddy I want your favor and light to shine in this very moment.  I want the fuel injector to work and I don't want to dear my drive" and the car didn't die again.  It sounded rough all the way to KC airport and then I realized that it was just the road not the car and I could praise God for light.

And, yes, there were hiccups but we got to Wagner which is part of what God calls my "my training ground". When we got to the church we realized we had no key for the bedroom, hiccup.  Dale went to crawl through a small window and realized he was scared on how to land, hiccup.  Emily was going to try but she's got epilepsy, hiccup.  I tried to pick the lock with my debit card but felt there was a barrier at the lock, hiccup.  We sent a text to our friend and he got us the key to the bedroom door and we could praise God for keys.  

I'm thankful this morning when Dale's alarm went off at 5am, hiccup.  It woke me up as the kids slept and I could praise walk through the church.  I got a chance to send a couple emails and then started to write this blog.  I giggle as I looked up the definition of hiccup and delighted at what i found.  I'm hopeful that we can do Open Artroom this afternoon and that there will be kids that come out.  Could you pray for that for me, for the kids in our crew, and the other kids in this community and my own back home?  That light would radiation from the ATF church that comes through creativity, faith, and love of God.  That the Sandymobile parked in front would be enough to let kids know we are here and that the sign we will put out this morning would help draw them out too.  

May you find the incidentals in life God's glory.  May the hiccups give you the giggles of delight that is our birthright as sons and daughters. 

Peace be with you- Sherry

Update

• I left my tip jar from my art room at my home yesterday.  If you would like to donate to help with incidentals while we are in Wagner or on the way home feel free to use Paypal; sherryboberry2@yahoo.com .  Please pray for myself, Dale, and precious Emily that we be radiant lightbearers.  

Daddy, I Want It All

 I stopped and thought about the word "glean" it means to take, extract, and gather from various sources.  It hit me that I've been a gleaner my whole life. I love to learn and am at a heart a nerd that loves to read, write, and seek knowledge.  I treasure scripture snippets, quotes, and have a plethora of trivial worldy knowledge from song lyrics, art, tv shows, and movies.

About five years ago I felt like God was telling me to "mentor" as there were so many changes going on in my world and the lives of others. I felt ill equipped and had prayed and petitioned the Lord to help and he told me to "mentor".  I laughed because the thought of "mentor" to my heart was like a spiritual guru or someone that was one of those bright, shiny people.  It didn't mean this girl that had lived an imperfect at best life.  I'm bold, sassy, and have spunk, Lord, but fluidity of words doesn't flow except on paper for me.  I cuss, Lord, you know it, hear it and many times roll those gracious eyes my direction.  I'm loud, Abba, and most the time unrestrained with my actions and words...yeah, I'm a wild card, and you want me to "mentor"?

I did "mentor" for a short season but I never had a chance to really define that. Within six months I had a cancer diagnosis, my darling dot had a seizure in college, and my life was turned upside down. Within two weeks of starting radiation I realized that I couldn't joke cancer away or pretend any longer and I needed my daddy, my Heavenly Daddy.  I'd been writing in my journal for two weeks like a crazy person and he responded with "you know me, have always known me, Sherry, you are mine".  Then a couple of weeks later as I started chemo with radiation I heard "you are mine and have no idea what I can do with you know that you know the truth.  Do what they say, rest, rest, and rest for I know what you will be used to do in the future".  And, yeah, like the indignant Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka I wanted more, more details & I had suggestions. Those details came in what I called "crazy chemo dreams" that I wrote about in my journal but didn't realize that they were the answers that I pleaded for until last year.

Fast forward to five years later and here I am alive and kicking.  Some days are better than others and easier and others complicated. And, the word "mentor" is being used again in circles that surround me.  I've learned to free fall with the Lord this fall.  To allow him to take care of incidentals, hiccups, and remain silent, diligent, and glean what He is gifting in words, people, and places.  I feel Him orchestrating my heart's aspirations; to teach, mentor, and glean so that I would be radiant light to others that is Him.

This blog post started as a chance to update and share that I wrote lesson plans for TSMKC for the kids at the fall conference.  In honesty its what I know to do, what my mama sent me to college for, and is comfortable because I know a classroom so well it is like home.  At the event I was blessed to have a friend from church help me and ask if they could use my "plans" for the kids at church and would I help to implement them.  That simple ask filled in some of my brokenness from 5 years ago.  It filled in the hurt, distraction, and loss that I felt at not knowing a realization of "mentor" was. It made me realize what I would describe as "scraps" because I used those lessons were far more.  That those "scraps" could be gleaned for God's glory.  Those "scraps" that I wrote after praying over and listening to God were something of value that would glorify God in ways I hadn't imagined.

Then last night I had a meeting with a friend that has encouraged me to define "mentor" and to think beyond a classroom or kids to teens and adults.  How would that look, what would I do, and who would I radiate light. It is the chance to see what I do beyond a classroom setting and that is challenging yet so very, very breath taking. It takes me back to when "mentor" was on my mind and I didn't know what exactly to do.  It allows me to see myself not as ; Veruca Salt, spunky, or sassy but as a beloved daughter of the Father.  That daughter that isn't cut from a worldly mold of bright and shiny. She is sassy, spunky, and bold enough to ask the Father for favor upon her children, home, and friends.  She petitions the Lord on behalf of others and is relentless...yes, I'm quite I picketer of sorts, friends. 

I am encouraged this morning & would ask for you to; encourage yourself by claiming victory as you are alive and kicking, give some praise for the moments (for example; cleaning up the hubs toothpaste in the sink leads me to praise the Lord for my hubs & restoration), and to seek solace in the Father as you petition aka demand favor, hope, mercy, and grace for yourself, your family, and your community.  As I write that my heart fills as I hear "I'm on it"...thank you Abba. 

Peace be with you- Sherry


Updates:

• Emily checked in with Dr. Seeley last week after changing her meds and having two seizures in the past couple of weeks.  He has increased her meds and said he felt encouraged that she had went a month before those seizures had happened. 
• Dale, oh, my sonshine. He and I have been kindred souls since day one.  He came home to help his mama with the kiddos at TSMKC conference a couple of weeks ago. On his was back to college he had car problems .  By grace the hubs and a friend went to rescue him. It was late and he had a deadline of midnight for an assignment.  As he turned on the highway to Maryville he realized the time and fear set in that his assignment would be late.  You can probably guess it, he got a big ticket and has to appear in court on October 30 in Maryville.  The sonshine that is the calm in the storm is now in the eye of his very own storm.  He has called the prosecuting attorneys office to ask for help so his parents can pay the tickets, that the charges be reduced so our insurance doesn't go up, and that he will take traffic school.  We would appreciate prayers of favor for the sonshine that both the prosecuting attorney and judge would show grace and mercy as it is his first ticket. 
• I'm posting October classes for The Artroom today. The home school group that meets each Thursday has been robust and a sweet blessing to my soul and I would ask for prayer over the after school program for Fridays and the other class endeavors that I will offer.
• We head back to Wagner early birdy on Friday morning so we can get there in time for a catnap and to do Open Artroom Friday afternoon. This time Tedster is going with us and I can not praise the Lord more for another driver but in reality to have him be a part of the journey,  I am still collecting new socks and gently used tennis shoes to take to Wagner & would adore your donations.