“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”17 And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 2Kings 6:16-17
I wrote out the words TRUTH OR DARE boldly in my journal. Instantly, I was taken back to being at a slumber party as a kid & we would play the game truth or dare. I remember always taking the "truth" rather than the dare and thinking what could be so awful that you would take a dare rather than tell the truth. Geez, I miss that kid & her common sense.
As I aged I learned to mask the truth in order not to hurt someones feelings. Then there are those little white lies that we tell ourselves like "you will never be good enough". And, finally, there is that great big mask that we wear daily in life that shares that life is good, phenom, the kids are great, and our marriage unbreakable or at least that is what our latest Facebook post says. Can anyone else relate?
This week my journaling has been all about praising God for the smalls, reminiscing about what He's done, and how my faith encourages me daily. I've been reading, pondering, and journalling from 2Kings 6:16-17. It talks about Elisha & his servant. It tells of the servant learning a faith lesson about trusting the Lord, praying, and choosing to see & hear God's truths rather than the worlds. The passage resonated with my soul & spirit at this point in my life. It is a truth that I deal with daily & it makes me feel brave, bold, and sassy.
Here's my my bold truth in my cancer journey: Trying being intentional in my faith rather than be infatuated with God. Being infatuated means day dreaming being intentional means putting yourself out there, loving the Lord, and seeking Him through all things.
A couple of weeks ago I was asked by Gilda's Club to give an interview & be filmed about my experience with cancer. My interview would be used in a promo short film to help in fundraising & for newbies to the clubhouse. I instantly agreed....how did that happen? I don't like my pic taken let alone having myself interviewed & filmed.
But I said yes....why? Because I've found a freedom in Christ during my cancer experience. It has made me braver, bolder, and sassier....yeah, I think God can even use the sassy girl for his glory. I prayed over my decision & felt in my heart it was my chance to show God through my words & actions. I journaled about it too and wrote about having an "I don't care...IDC" attitude. What do I mean by that? It means letting go of my apprehensions, hangups, or fears and simply be fab with who God created and what I can do for him.
It's been two weeks since the interview. The team was great, complimentary, and even had me read a quote from Gilda for the video....yeah, just me, none of the others that were interviewed. They said that I did great and they loved how real I was. I thanked God for my IDC moment.
This week my support group counselor asked to see me after group. She thanked me for doing the interview and said they would like me to come to "The Night of 100 Stars" event. They are going to show the video during the event & wanted me to be there. And, instead of feeling trepidation over it I'm really excited...God is good!
Finally, this week, I headed to KC to have bloodwork & a scan done. My white blood cell count is still low but it has raised since last week. I've got a consult with my doctor next week to talk about the scan and the game plan for what happens next. I left the clinic and sat in Betsy Bravada. I thanked God for my old car that got me to all the doctor appointments, radiation, and infusions. I remembered before my first radiation in January that I told God that my Betsy Bravada had kept my fam safe for 14 years & I was sure that He would allow her to keep me safe & get me where I needed to go. I thanked God because I saw that it wasn't Him keeping Betsy Bravada going but it was Him keeping me going by sending me fam & friends to surround me, pray over me & the fam, and love us. I thanked God for letting His followers shine for me to see.
Peace be with you- Sherry
Updates:
1. This week at my support group a newbie gal started. She instantly felt like a kindred soul. I found out that she helps the social workers at KU. She helps patients fill out paperwork for disability, grants, etc. I shared with her about Emily. I told her how Emily still doesn't have health insurance and that I was trying to work on paperwork to try to get her insurance through disability but it was so confusing. She told me to get all of it together and bring it to Gilda's Club and we could work on getting it done.....God is good!
2. Thanking God for my friends that shine for Him through their actions. I'm so thankful for your prayers, encouragement, and help. God is good!
3. After I was done at the clinic & going to support group yesterday I told Em we were going to go celebrate. Our lives have been a series of appointments, treatments, support group & there is little time for fun or energy. Yesterday, we broke the cycle and went and had fun. We went to Snow & Company in KC for "adult" snowcones....lol. The best part is that we got there, parked, and went in & Em's got a text. One of my friends sent it with the message "Did you girls just go into Snow & Company? I see you".....love it! After all the trips to KC not seeing anyone we knew, not knowing anyone else besides each other God sends us a message that we were never really truly alone. God is good!
4. We are looking for some help with Emily's subaru. It stopped running & she is able to drive again. We are searching of a reliable used car for her. If you know of one, have one, etc. please let us know. We can't afford a lot. We also realize that Emily needs to be able to be independent, drive herself to & from class, and a used car would be huge to help her.
5. Today I went to a makeup class through the ACS. I haven't worn makeup since December. A couple of weeks ago Em & I tried to have a beauty night for fun and my skin itched so badly from my makeup that I threw it all out. The gave us loot bags filled with makeup....I actually prayed before I used it that my skin would itch. They gifted me with a newbie wig too. And, yes, the make up didn't itch my skin & yup, I got a wig that I can rock while my hair grows. God is good!
4881 NE Goodview Circle
Lee’s Summit, MO 64064
Lee’s Summit, MO 64064
