Hey, hey, hey....long time no blog, right? I've been busy with chemo, changing oncologists, and trying to figure out what my new norm is. I joke that chemo is my new lifestyle choice and am daily reminding myself to "suck it up" emotionally & physically. Cancer is a battle that I always feared and now I feel worn from it. Initially, I thought if I gave it a year the radiation & chemo would kill it. A year and some months later I'm realizing what a worthless opponent cancer is.
You heard me right "worthless opponent". That goes for the battles you are facing too ; financially, physical, mental, toxic people & relationships, and yes, even cancer. They are a "worthless opponent" in the face of our Heavenly Father who moves mountains like anthills. When those worldly "worthless opponents" come in to tackle us, cause despair, and weaken our body, mind, and spirit we need to remember we love a God that loves us beyond limits and is beside our strife every step.
I know I compared radiation to having the life dragged from me like a cartoon character that just got an anvil. What I didn't realize last year was that God was building a silent resilience in me that would refuse to give cancer or any hardship in my life value. I believe the enemy is waiting for the right diagnosis or series of unfortunate events to prey on each of us to cause to shake, quake, and question our Heavenly Father. Through the series of a year, chemo, radiation, more chemo, more radiation, and more chemo I'm still standing and can see it clearly for what cancer is in my life ; a worthless opponent.
That doesn't mean I don't think about the future. I've actually had a heart to convo with the hubs about the what ifs. I told him the world will keep spinning without me. I confided to him in the hardest of days I think that I might die. Then I challenge myself to keep fighting until I'm 52. Why 52? My dad was 51 when he died and I'd like to one up him by at least a year or more. My earthly dad and I had that kind of relationship to try to one up one another.
I'm getting real and I have my Heavenly Father and cancer to thank for that. In reality I know in my heart, soul, and mind that cancer won't take me out. I'm too spunky for that worthless opponent. Within the last month I hear God calling me to aspire. I feel this whirlwind of aspirations at my feet if I dare to jump in and do what comes natural...be a risk taker.
I'm certain that this message of worth and worthless is something each of us needs. I've personally spent fortysome years seeking my worth and value in people, what I had, what I could do, and the list goes on. It took a year of cancer, radiation, and chemo to come up for air and realize that my worth is in my Heavenly Father. That all other forms of worth are false and have no place in my life. It took until this week for me to stop calling cancer a worthy opponent and deny its worth by declaring it a "worthless opponent".
It's my hope that each of you see your very own worth in our Father's eyes. I would dare you to call situations, relationships, and material things what they are ; worthless. Our Heavenly Father is "worthy" the rest fails in comparison.
Below you'll find an update into my life, needs of our fam, and prayer requests. Feel free to message me prayer requests that you have....it is my blessing to pray over them to our "worthy" Father.
Peace be with you- Sherry
Updates:
1. I've been blessed this year by; a new oncologist and team taking on my case. They are billing me for much of my chemo and other expenses that will be due one year from now. Its not perfect but gives me solace. I can bravely say; "I don't know how that will work or how much but I know my Heavenly Father has provisions beyond my wildest expectations".
2. I have safe & reliable transportation to get me to appointments, chemo, and to small stuff. My Heavenly Father provided provisions for a car for me through friends that love and care for me. It's truly remarkable what provisions open when we gift them to our Heavenly Father and allow our friends to know what they are too.
3. I'm learning this round of chemo is harder than I envisioned. I vomit daily and am drained. I'm looking for friends to pick up the pace for me. Here are four ways;
1. Get a gallon of milk and orange juice weekly.
2. I need an emergency gas card for $20 to have if I need it.
3. I need to get back in the swing with a field trip weekly...want to
take this girl to lunch or for a tea? Come and get me.
4. I need someone to take me to cancer support group on Thursday
afternoons at Gildas Club. I haven't been in over a month b/c I
feel so crappy & I don't feel like driving.
4. When consulting with my newbie oncology team they suggested that I stop eating sugar and avoid caffeine. I've done well with my diet & caffeine I feel like I can do. Sugar, however, is my hangup. I was born with a sweet tooth. We have changed as a family that uses Stevia and Cane Sugar which is better. I literally went to eat a Snickerdoodle this week and felt like the cancer nodules in my stomach laughed at me because I was literally feeding them what they love. Please pray for me about my ability to eradicate sugar and use more natural sources. If you have a caffeine free tea send it my way or a great recipe for Snickerdoodles without sugar send it my way.
4. I'm starting to "aspire" of what God has in store for me & what I believe He wants me to do. I love the idea of using my Artroom in three ways ; 1. creative sanctuary for myself & others, 2. to do creative classes for my community, and 3. to tutor school age kids in reading, math, and science. I'm praying over my ability to provide these services, what to charge, and what it will look like.
5. Please pray for our family. The kids and Ted are tired from my battle with cancer and need some encouragement. Please pray on how that looks and what you can do to help them.
6. Its been almost five months since I blogged. I'm reminded of what I tried to instill in each student I had when I taught...."your words have power". I feel God telling me to aspire and that my words have power. It is my goal to start to blog again bi-weekly or weekly depending on how I feel. I think God has a premise and purpose for my words and I'm only really learning how He is shaping me to use them.
7. Ephesians 3:20 has been marking my path for over a month. Two weeks after I heard God tell me to "aspire" it came to me as I was reading. It keeps coming back daily through reminders, things that I write, or literally on Pinterest...lol. Ephesisans 3:20 says, " God can do anything you know- far more that you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams" . I love that I have a Heavenly Father that told me to "aspire" through this round of chemo. He has designed a path and purpose that is far greater than I could see...now to pray over that path.
