Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Ephesians 5:1
This year I am pulled into another realm of thinking. God is challenging me to think not of the world but of kingdom things. It is becoming abundantly pressing on my heart, mind, and soul. I don't wake up or go to sleep without kingdom things on my mind.
Kingdom things are relevant for me now. As a kid there were things that were uniquely me that I closed down in order to fit in or conform to my family and friends. In adulthood I got told that those things wouldn't pay the bills, That I shouldn't try because I wasn't good enough. Instead of leaning into what I understood I choose to cower and bow down to worldly expectations.
Over the course of being sick for the past few years it has caused me to re-evaluate what I know. I've learned to rely on others and ask for help. I had to grow in reliance of our Heavenly Father and learn what it is to truly trust Him. My views of what is mine changed to everything being mine to realizing nothing is mine its just worldly things that were Gods all along. And, the biggest leap has been forgiving myself for things of the past and realizing God had long ago...its called mercy. In the spirit of redemption I have found clarity, my voice, and what truly matters to me; listening for His call.
Our Heavenly Father has created each of us unique with his characteristics. For me that means I love to learn, to teach, share, be creative, and uplift. That is a mix that makes me an optimist at birth, the oddball in my family, the one that hopes when hope feels lost, stays constructive and finds joy in the least. In other words I'm finding my way home. Home to my birthright, to a Father that calls me beloved , to a friend that doesn't forsake me, and the spirit that waits to light up this world through me.
This month my health insurance will be cancelled via the state leaving me speechless. I've cried myself sick, gotten angry, got an advocate, and trusted our Heavenly Father. What I've heard from God is that He has the world and to keep focused on kingdom things. I ask for a favor from our Heavenly Father and he repeats that he has the world. I'm shown a hand with the world in it that changes to a hand holding a rubber bouncy ball in a second. It is then that I hear our Heavenly Father say "you know the truth"....the truth is Him. Yes, dad, I'm on my home.
May I spend each moment for the rest of my life being your light ? May I be your love to others?. May I have clarity, strength, and compassion where I see none? May I show you through creativity, teaching, and mentoring? Am I enough? Through "favor" I am. Thankful for; the freedom to hope, dream, and love without boundaries. To be His light through creativity, to teach art, to mentor. For knowing what a gift I'm given as the daughter of the king that I need to take care of my Dads people.
I woke up this morning at 3 with blisters over my stomach and abdomen in the places I was radiated. I took a shower and began to write lists of "small" , "complex", and "kingdom" things to do. Took time to pray and praise. Got to hug Dale as he got up, sing Happy Birthday to him, and make my kid an omelet and get him a cappuccino on the way to school. I had time to load my car with donations to my friends homeless ministry and get back home to finish this blog. I have just enough time to get ready and pray for favor as I travel to KC to teach an art class to preschoolers and their families. I believe that I will get home in time to Dale from school, make homemade chicken noodle soup for his birthday, and praise the Lord for the precious gift of being a mom. That is part of who I am, who I aspire to be, of God's favor in my day, and of kingdom things.
Peace be with you- Sherry
Updates;
- Emily has an appointment via Social Security tomorrow afternoon. My appointment with Social Security is on Monday. Pray for strength, clarity, premise, and purpose to get us through this process to ensure that both she and I will have health insurance.
- Dale is going to Northwest Missouri State in the fall to major in geology. It is less expensive than KU. Dale toured the campus with me and after he met the professors in the geology department he was confident it is the right choice. Plus, they've got a museum with a casting of a T-Rex skull and would get to help Dr. Pope with putting together a dinosaur fossil.
- We are still working on getting a home equity loan so we can make home repairs ; get a new roof, siding for the house, and new linoleum for the kids bathroom.
- I've taken a position with a single moms ministry in KC as their Children's Ministries entity of their event planning. Although, it doesn't pay a great deal it is "kingdom things" and I feel blessed for the ability to work from home using the skills that God created me with. If you would like to volunteer to work with my team with kids doing "Mad Science" on April 14 let me know. I would love to have your help.
