Rocketgirl Three

Ephesians 2:10~ “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Whose ever had their identity robbed...like a bank account or credit card?  It feels rotten and takes time and patience to sort out.  What about the premise and purpose that you came into this world with that our Heavenly Father sent you with? Have you ever felt robbed of it?

After cancer I will never be able to teach in a classroom full time again. Because of Chron's Disease and arthritis there are days this chick moves slow...like in slow motion slow.  It caused me a lot of tears and heartache when I realized I could never be a teacher in the way I once was.   I talked with my oncologist about going back to substitute teach and he axed that idea. The meds that I'm on have compromised my immunity for the rest of my life. 

Yeah, so what is a girl to do. I've known since I was five that I wanted to be a teacher. How do I answer about not earning what I once did.  How can I overcome feeling like a worthless slacker each day of my life? How do I stop my identity from being robbed?

 Every morning I wake up and declare victory on my day and ask God what should I do. I have to take some deep breaths afterwards. God has blessed me with a home where I have my art studio. He has blessed me with a spirit of courage to open my garage door and do a few art classes each month in my studio. He's challenged me and the limits of what I'll say yes to each time I go to South Dakota.

I think it's important in what we choose each day. Will I see the world through God's eyes? Or will I choose to be robbed? Do I look in the mirror to see the girl God calls his beloved daughter? Or do I see what the world roars as my identity? 

Since I came back from South Dakota it has been brutal to find my identity. Every day when I ask God what I should do I hear one word "write". Most days I crumble at the word. I know I can write but why that Lord? I'm a teacher did you forget? And, the response comes back as one word "write".

It hit me that I have been bogged down trying to interpret what "write" means. I stopped writing daily.  I've stopped writing in my journal in September.  I have been robbing myself of my identity as a writer. As I sit at the keyboard I say ; "I refute the feeling of oppression. I refute the ominous feeling I've had in my spirit since leaving South Dakota. I refute it all God and solely seek you".

Refute means to prove a statement or theory wrong or false. I found the word refute when my daughter, Emily, was diagnosed with epilepsy. She began having uncontrolled seizures at age 19. I use the word refute; "I refute Emily's seizures , I refute the diagnosis of epilepsy in Christ Jesus name and ask in Jesus name for Emily to be restored and healed". That has been my battle cry as a mom for six years.

I've never thought of the word refute for myself. There are bigger battles that people bear. Bigger challenges in the world that need the word refute. That is me being an identity thief. I've been thinking a girl that God sees as his beloved daughter isn't worthy of using the word refute for herself. We can be so darn busy fighting others battles that we forget our own. We forget who we are and our creator.

We each need to remember to take the sword that bears the name "refute" and slash what robs us of our joy, our praise, our own promise and purpose. We need to refute whatever lies we tell ourselves. God will prove them false.  Our statement is " I refute ____ in the name of Christ Jesus that calls me his beloved.  I am the daughter /son of the King of Kings and will not be judged by this world or taken out by it".

May each of us stop robbing ourselves. May our pace be slowed that we would be steady and methodical. That we would not be silenced with; fear, oppression, or distractions. That we would be the beloved children of the King.

Peace be with you- Sherry

UPDATES

• Emily will be seeing the neurological team in Columbia, Missouri at MU on November 8. They have evaluated her records and scans.  We are hopeful that they will be able to do surgery on Emily to stop her seizures.  Your prayers are appreciated.
• We will be going back to South Dakota the last week of this month.  We will be spending time at the Marty Boys and Girls Club doing art and checking in on our Wagner crew too.  We are taking donations of ; new socks & money to buy Takis chips for the Marty club. If you would like to donate to either please let me know. You can send cash donations for the chips on Venmo; Sherry-Snider-2.