Hitting A Nerve

 Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness] and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart. [Col. 3:9-12.]

The past months I've been working on listening.  Instead of giving advice or trying to be a "fixer" I've been choosing to listen.  It's been a hard choice for this boisterous, outspoken gal but it's what I've been hearing in my heart and spirit to do.

These past couple of weeks I'm realizing why God has been prepping me throughout the past months to be a listener. I've had some situations personally that took me taking me out of the equation to fully understand what my loved one had to say.  I've got a health scare right now with precancerous polyps and growths in my intestines that have me taking me out of the situation and listening to what needs to be done.  I also have been blessed to have some close gal pals contact me asking me to pray for them because they know that I will. I love that they have sought me out to tell what is happening and ask for my prayers because they know I love God like them, have been through things, and still I'm  vigilant for the Lord.

Yesterday I felt the need to listen beyond what I could have considered....I'm a fixer at heart, an enabler at my weakest, and a bossy babe at my worst.  What happened?  I was compelled to go out and clean my front stoop.  Why?  I didn't really know because I'm not really a great housekeeper.  But something within me said get out there and clean that stoop....it didn't even stop long enough for me to sip my morning coffee.  I said, "Ok, God, I get it you want the front of the house to look nice" and I walked out the front door to start to clean.  As I was cleaning a car passed and slowed down.  The driver stopped in the middle of the road, looked at me and backed up and into my driveway.  All, I could think is, geez, whose that and what are they doing.  They parked in my driveway and got out of the car and said, "Sherry?". 

I looked and it was one of Emily's friends that she grew up with.  He went into the military after high school and we haven't seen him for a little over two years.  And, that same kid that I knew looked like a shell of his former self.  I came down from the stoop to the driveway and gave him a hug.  I asked how he was doing and he told me about being in the reserves now and working. I told him about my cancer scare in January and about the artroom.  He then looked at me and asked if he could tell me what was really going on....and my heart skipped a beat.  All I could do was say yes and sit down.  He told me that he's been feeling overwhelmed, about his relationship with a girl that's toxic, and that he came back to Pleasant Hill looking for someone to talk to.  He said that as he drove into town he realized that he didn't have anyone and so he drove to the cemetery and sat there with his cousin and grandpa and talked with them and then just laid on their graves and cried.  My mom's heart wants to fix him, my enabler wants to take him in, and my bossy babe says suck it up....but none of those came out.  The listener came out.....I sat and listened to him.  I didn't say a word.  After he was done I told him he has Christ forever and always to listen to him and prayed with him.

It made me think of what a listener does.  They listen , pray, and go on.  There is nothing that we can fix, enable, or boss that will work in someones life or our own.  We have to let it go to God.  And, then we are free to walk in courage and dignity to meet the days challenges.  I asked about his parents and family.  He shared he hadn't seen them in a while and that he didn't think they even cared.  I told him that the parents that I've known did.  I shared with him that sometimes you have to be ready to be done with your life, what you've done and who you've become.  You have to be willing to shut the door on it, lock it, and throw away the key.  Once you can do that you are ready to start over with what God intends for your life.

He stayed the day with our family, hung out, ate, and slept.  I felt like he just needed a landing spot for a day and was happy we were it.  I thanked God last night that He gave me the ability to listen.  I thanked God for telling me to clean the stoop.  And, I prayed over the kiddo that was at my stoop yesterday and asked for God's protection over him.  I asked God to center & focus the kid back on God and drop the rest.  I prayed for his parents to be welcoming to him when that time came.  

In the end, isn't it that we are designed to listen to God?  We are designed to act and do God's will when He asks.  It's hard to shut out the noise from around us, to not envelop ourselves in our owness, and to reach out to listen. I know that since I've been able to do this I feel a calmness that roars over me when things get hard.  I feel a peace that allows me to walk in courage and with dignity when I would rather crawl away.  And, I have a gusto in my step, words, and actions that isn't bossy it's bold with a knowledge of what God intends for me to do. 

It's scary to shut down the rest of the world.  It's scary to say your BFF is Christ and not an earthly person.  And, it's even bolder to sit in silence and listen to what God says and then act.  I pray that you have the courage to silence the world & listen for God to speak to your heart and breathe life into your spirit. 

Peace Be With You- Sherry

Updates:

• I'm praying over an artroom schedule for August.  I've got ideas of workshops/classes I want to incorporate but am needing to hear that I'm on the right path.
• Once Em & Dale are back in school I'm planning to free myself to go back to the Cancer Institute to meet with Donna about what are the next steps to take with my health.  I've neglected this over the summer and am feeling tired & fatigue.
• I'm loving how God is using our home as a creative haven for kids & adults.  I'm praying that continues .
• Pray for our family as we are in a transition time in our lives.  We are trying to hunker down on what God's path for each of us and together are.  Both Ted & I have been deliberating how God wants us to serve him, inc what capacity, and where.  

Listen Up

My child listen and be wise : keep your heart on the right course.  Proverbs 23:19

Remember the quiet game as a kid?  It's when you see who can be the quietest the longest?  Yeah, I was always the loser in less than a minute.  I remember being little and having my parents tell me to listen.  Then growing up, going to school, and needing to "listen" to not only my parents but my teachers, bosses, and peers.   It may sound a little crazy but at times I wondered whose gonna listen to me. 

As a kiddo I found that my neighbor lady, Ginny Brown, was a great listener.  She would come over in the mornings with a whole day of fun planned for she and I. We'd ride around Des Moines in her little red bug convertible and talk.  She listened to my dreams of wanting to be creative and teach. My Grandma Hout was a good listener but she lived several hours away from me.  Once I learned to write I would pour out what was going on to her in letters. Those letters contained my heartfelt emotions, fears, and hurts that I didn't tell my friends or family....they were safe with my Grandma Hout though.  And, of course, there was my dad.  Yeah, whose dad listens to them growing up?  Mine did once I was in junior high.  We became pals by the time I went to college.  I didn't always like or approve of what he did in his life and vice versa.  God paired me with a great listener with my dad.

If I look back on all three of those great listeners in my life I would have to say that they have three characteristics: 1. ability to just listen, 2. ability to not give advice or try to fix what was going on, 3. each loved God through their ability to listen & prayed for me.

This past month I've been battling myself once again.  Why?  Because I want to be a "listener" and to shut up if I'm being honest.  I found myself this week feeling less than when my own kids wanted to talk with me.  Instead of shutting up what did I do?  I became defensive, tried to solve the problem and forgot about compromise & listening.  For goodness sake they are my kids with a problem I need to solve it for them, right?  And, I cringe....ugh.  I need to listen and then take their issue, problem, or fear & give it to the Lord.  I need to listen to the good, great, and outstanding that is going on in their lives and give God praise for it.  Notice how that all starts with listening? 

My challenge this past month was to silence myself.  That's not easy for someone that love, love, loves to talk.  Shoot, as a kid I used to just pick up the phone and talk...but I digress.  I need to learn to value the people around me enough to listen.  I surround myself with my family, creative peeps, and friends.  They deserve a "silent Sherry", one that will listen to them, be there for them silently, and one that they know they can rely on through her faithful prayers.

At this point in life I'm older and bolder.  What's that mean?  I'm living the life of my dreams creatively.  I know what I stand for, what I'll allow, and the things that define who I am.  I do all right at silencing the noise in my own head & listening for God's directions....and he hasn't failed me.  I've heard him the last month telling me to silence myself and listen....ohh, that's hard.  But I feel like he's got something in store for me if I do it that is more splendid than I could imagine. Now, to stop talking about it and silence myself. 

What about you?  Have you ever thought that if you were silent when someone came to talk to you, absorbed what they were saying, and prayed it might be a different conversation.  What about a different relationship for you both and with God....that would be outstanding!  Now, to silence me and listen to Him for the day.

Peace Be With You- Sherry

Updates:

• I'm really opening myself up by having an Open Artroom each Wednesday from 10-3. I want my artroom to be a sanctuary of creativity, freedom, and encouragement.  
• The workshops that I've held have been fab.  People are coming and it has been marvy!  I've had people contact me about doing classes for groups....that's a little scary but amazing...God is good.
• I've stepped outta my comfort zone to go to City Market in KC each Sunday to talk with people, share my faith with what I do, and listen....it's been fab.  Tedster hasn't been so sure it's the right thing to do but last week he paid for my spot & reserved it for next week because he can see something awesome happening.  
• Pray for Em this week as she takes her finals on Thursday & she's super nervous about it.  

What's So Funny About Peace, Love, and Understanding

This Sunday as Tedster dropped me off out front at church Elvis Costello's jam Peace, Love, and Understanding came on.  I love that song but felt like it was more important to jam to God's word that Elvis Costello. In the sermon our pastor talked about Millennials  and the Baby Boomers.  I felt totally out of the conversation or sermon.  Why?  I fall into neither of those groups.  I'm a Generation X gal.  What does that mean or entail?  I looked it up and here's what I could sum up about my generation.

• Professor Christine Henseler summarizes it as "a generation whose worldview is based on change, on the need to combat corruption, dictatorships, abuse, AIDS, a generation in search of human dignity and individual freedom, the need for stability, love, tolerance, and human rights for all"
•  Gen Xers are often called the MTV Generation. They experienced the emergence of music videos, new wave music, electronic music, synthpop, glam rock, heavy metal and the spin-off glam metal, punk rock and the spin-off pop punk, alternative rock, grunge, and hip hop.
•  Generation X is a more apparently heterogeneous generation, openly acknowledging and embracing social diversity in terms of such characteristics as race, class, religion, ethnicity, culture, language, gender identity, and sexual orientation
•  Gen Xers are less likely to idolize leaders and are more inclined to work toward long-term institutional and systematic change through economic, media and consumer actions.
•  Generation X statistically holds the highest education levels when looking at current age groups. 

On all accounts those look like decent attributes, right?  And, yes, I loved my MTV back in junior high when it came out.  I listen to the alternative station still here in KC.  And, I do believe in social diversity, human dignity, and stability.  How does that work simply by what Christ did here on earth.  He loved people.  That's what I do daily and have taught my kiddos to do.

Within the sermon our pastor called for the Baby Boomers to show the Millennials the way to serve, tithe, etc.  But what about the Gen Xers?  What are we supposed to do?  We are the smart, capable, believe in change through love & tolerance.  What are we supposed to do while the Baby Boomers and Millennials rally?  Can you tell the sermon fell on flat ears with me? To be honest I've thought over the past year that my role was to be a mentor to the younger generation at my church.  To help the older generation with my service.  And to encourage the whole gang at church through my thoughts, words, and actions.

Now, just maybe, Gen Xers, like me, were left out of the sermon.  Why?  Shoot, I don't really know but I know that it was a great conversation with my hubby afterwards.  We decided that it is another way that God is showing us that we need to expand out of our comfort zone which would be our home church.  God is leading us to show our love & servitude for him behind those walls and out in the big, bad world.  And, by doing this our kids will see it & our Millennials, Gen X, and Baby Boomer friends.  Maybe we can inspire a change for our own community by how we serve God and show our love for all?

Could it really be that easy?  I'm not sure but I'm willing to take on a dare from my Heavenly Father.  I'm willing to dream with Him.  And, if I'm honest that makes me as excited as I was watching MTV back in the day with my pals.  I love the thought that I with my artroom, workshops, and servitude could rock this planet for Christ.

I'm super excited by this challenge that God has laid in my path.  I love that the creative workshops that I'm developing for kids and adults are taking off.  I love that God is steering it all and allowing all the best of what he gave me to flow through the planning, developing, and teaching of the workshops.  I love that God takes and steers you away from what you think is for him into what actually is ....God is awesome like that!

Now, it may be my morning cup of Carmel Drizzle coffee talking but I think my Gen X generation has a lot to offer.  I see my friends from high school serving in their church bands...how did that happen? God.  What about the rebels that were amongst us that shoot out God's word over their FB posts and blogs? God. There are my college peeps that are in publishing that are making a change by writing and editing Christian curriculum. That's God too. Everywhere that I turn I see my generation making a change for God, living what God intends, and walking away from the norm, mundane, and easy to do it.

This is the coffee kicking in but I feel a rush to go and keep in contact this morning with my writer pals.  Connect with the pastor in Dallas to let them know my son is helping me to learn Skype.  Thank you God for directing this gal that loves, forgives, and wants to spread your word.

Peace Be With You - Sherry

As Simple As Skype

This past month I was literally rocked & rolled in my life.  I literally felt like ever move I made from small to large was being judged, directed, and critiqued by someone else.  Have you been through a season of life like that?  Or is it a daily occasion for you?

Let's face it no one likes to feel picked on.  As kids we hated being chosen last for the kick ball team.  Called names or made to feel cruddy about ourselves.  Some of you grew up in a family that made you feel that way....ohh, my heart hurts for you.  If you are like me you've had certain friends that made you feel less than, called you names, and hurt you. What's a gal with God's grace and dignity to do?

When I was young and idealistic I would have told you straight up walk away and never give those that hurt you another thought.  But life is harder than that.  These are the people that surround us, our neighbors, co-workers, friends, spouses, and kids.   What are we to do with difficult people that literally drain us, make us question who we are, and hurt us.  I had to take a looky loo in my Bible to find some scripture that would renew me. I went straight to Luke 12:22-34.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".

Know why I love these verses? They were my go to as my marriage was crumbling apart and I was on my hands and knees begging God to help me.  Long story short I was separated for three years. God did a work in my hubby's life and took care of Emily & I.  And, I had time to find my voice and say what is acceptable and unacceptable in my life....yeah, those were three hard years but I'm thankful God put me in them.  And, I love ravens from being an English major ....lol.

But what I find in these verses is a comfort that God knows about our challenges.  He already knows them and knows whose in your life that hurts you.  I honestly believe that and believe that he wants you to find help through him.  For me, in my marriage, it was being on my hands & knees begging to God after being beat for a couple of years regularly.  I just couldn't take anymore, had hid it all, and tried to do everything that I knew to make it all right....and I couldn't.  God took and sent the cops to my house yet again that day.  And, I went to the door in tears and looked like a mess.  I didn't stop to cover it all up.  The cop told me a neighbor called and asked if I wanted help.  And, I told him "yes".  Know what he said, "Thank God, I've been praying about you".

 He gave me directions to the court house, told me how to fill out the restraining papers, and said that if I needed help that I could call he or his partner.  He shared that they get a lot of domestic calls but there was something about me that stood out and he prayed over.  He and his partner loaded me and Emily up in the car and sent me on my way to the courthouse.  The people there were just as helpful and kind.  They looked over my paperwork and told me that it would be 24 hours until the had a decision but not to worry things looked in my favor.  They gave me info for a local shelter but I was too ashamed to go there....one of my friends was a counselor there. Instead, I went home and prayed the whole way there for God's protection over Emily & myself.  I had always prayed for Emily but never myself...that was too selfish over the years but that day it wasn't.  It was at that point that God re-built my value & worth.  I was blessed to be separated for three years from Ted so that he could give his life to God, allow God to work through his issues, and become the husband and dad that God wants him to be. 

Over the years I feel like my value, worth, and if God loves me has been challenged.  By me and by others. I've found my voice to tell others that "I've got value and worth in this world.  You may not see it but God does and I know it".  This past month that has been questioned time and time again by friends.  They question my core values, what I believe, and even who I am.  When I've asked to help with things I know I'm capable of and want to do I've literally heard crickets.  And, that has broken my spirit and caused me to cry out to God and ask him what my worth and value is to Him.  It brought me to a dark place where I felt that I had none.  What did I do?  

 I found myself reading daily from Luke 12:22-34 and calming the storm that is in my spirit.  I've given it up to God and ask him to lead, direct, and take over.  I'm done, outta here, and had enough with situations and people. I told my Heavenly Father I have no idea what I should do or turn to.  I shared that I thought I knew what he wanted and told him how sorry I was if I only heard myself.

 Know what God did?  He sent three friends to call me.  One writes Christian curriculum, one is an editor, and one serves in ministry at her church.  And, you know what they have in common?  They all want me to work with them.  They have asked before but I always put them off because I thought service needed to happen here in my own community and church.  Know what?  God is knocking down that door and boldly telling me to go out in the world.  This is what he's got planned for me. One of them listened as I told her what was going on and said, "Sherry, do you have Skype?".  I told her nope and she said, "Get Skype and let me know.  I'll talk with my team and we are going to pray for you.  As soon as you can Skype we are going to get working together". 

Then, I had a pastor from a church in Dallas contact me about my blog.  He got a hold of it from someone at his church.  He valued what I was doing through my blog and loved the workshops that I was holding in my artroom.   He asked if he & his congregation could pray for me.  And, wanted to know if I would be all right with him sharing my story.  He & his women's ministries leader want to Skype with me about what I'm doing for my community and my story. 

And, God, didn't stop there he sent three moms with special needs kids my way this past week.  They called out of the blue and asked if I would talk with them about the workshops that I doing.  They asked if  I would want to work with them to make them available to kids with disabilities.  We met to get a better idea of how I can help their kids and pray together.   Ohh, God moves and shakes doesn't he when you relent all that hurt.   He's allowed me to see my worth, value, and what I can do for His glory and I love it.

I want each of you to know that you have value, worth and mean something to our Heavenly Father.  He cares for you!  Worried about your job, difficult co-worker, bully of a friend, or hurtful family member?  Go to God and let it all out.  I like to think that I'm releasing the "cracken" like a pirate....lol.  Once, it's released and out there God can re-build you.  He created you as a person of value, worth, and strength....now let him work.

Peace Be With You-Sherry

Updates:

• This week I'll be learning to Skype...pray for me. I'm so excited but a little scared because I don't know how to use it.
• The past two weeks the kids workshops have been ahhh-mazing.  I've got more kiddos than I ever could have prayed for coming....God is good.  
• Pray for my ability to share my story with the people in Dallas this week.  It's scary for me and challenging.  It puts me in a place that I don't like to talk about....me.   But I think they see something there....it's a God thing.  
• Pray for my ability to work with the special needs kids moms.  We are planning on meeting again this week.  I pray that my words & actions be what God wants and that I can provide their kids and others with fab creative workspace.
• I need to go get my blood drawn and meet with my doctor soon.  I've went a couple of months without doing it.  I'm physically not feeling well and am tired a lot.  I'm praying that it is all fine and a part of the journey of healing for me.  Pray that I can afford to go and get it done...it seems there is always a bill, an emergency, or something else that gets put before me.  Pray that God will open an avenue for me to afford the care that I need and deserve.