Invincible

                                                           

 

 

Isaiah 26:3  Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed (anchored) on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.

 

 I remember being a kid and there was a carefree feeling of knowing that I was taken care of by my parents.  When I was in second grade I came home and told my dad that we were "rich".  He asked why I thought that and I told him because I had all my school supplies and even a set of neon crayons at school and home.  I told him that there were a couple of kids that didn't have any.  My mom entered the conversation and they explained that they were blessed to provide for me and asked what kids didn't have their supplies.  I remember my mom and dad went out that night and she delivered a bag filled with supplies for those kids that next morning.  Shoot, if being "rich" was school supplies they could handle that one for their daughter and couple more kids.

 

 I thought about that "invincible" spirit that led me when I was younger and what was it?  I think for me it was knowing my parents would always be there, clean up my messes, listen to my heartbreaks, and love me. But for my kids "invincible" means they have me and their dad that love them but they have a Heavenly Father that is "invincible" that loves, cares, and will help them through life.  They both have a faith that amazes me and they are able to be level headed, collected with their thoughts, and share their faith through their words and actions....how cool is that?  

 

Today, Em and I met with the Voc Rehab gal about scholarship possibilities and what she is going to do with her life.  Emily realizes that dentistry is out of her reach because of her seizures. She has prayed on it and feels that nursing might be a great path.  She shared that with the Voc Rehab gal who thought that nursing might be a great career for her.  She and Em talked about the cost of Fontbonne, what schools were local, and about what her plans were.  Em was so composed as she shared that her mom had some medical issues and she felt compelled in her heart to come home for the spring semester.  She told her how hard school this fall because she knew I was sick.  They talked about MCC (the community colleges in KC) and her A+ hours that she has never used.  They made a plan and the gal told Em to call her with questions and if she needed someone to talk to please to call her she would be happy to listen and help her.  

 

I was floored by Emily's maturity.  Emily talked with me on the car ride home and told me that she isn't done with college but feels like she needs time to figure out a college to go to for nursing.  She shared that it is hard to be at Fontbonne but she loves it but she doesn't want to go.  But to stress her family out over the tuition which stresses her out.  She told me that her friends will still be her friends down in St. Louis and they are only a train ride away and she knows how to take the train....lol.  We pulled over and prayed in the car.  And, decided to pray overnight about Fontbonne and what God intends and talk over this week, make calls, and do what her heart is compelled to do.....she knows that God is going to answer her.  

 

I focused in on Isaiah 26:3 and thought how focused Emily is on God and following his lead for her life.  I truly feel like it the perfect verse for our family to focus on this week.  I hope that it is one that claims your heart and spirit too.  My challenge for you this week is to trust God enough to allow him into your life, your fears, problems and to find that "perfect peace" that can overwhelm your spirit, mind, and body.  I have to admit that I still don't do that well but I can see through Emily today that she can mentor me....because she's got it!  And, when she's not here Dale, her brother, is my mentor because he's got it too.  I'm truly blessed to be led through my kids and their example of being "invincible" not because of themselves or their parents but because they have faith in their Heavenly Father to do all things in their lives, lead them, and direct their paths. 

 

 It is truly going for be a challenge this week to keep that up.  My surgery looms over me on January 7th, Em's decision about college, and yup, our furnace stopped working today.  Know that I cried today after Em and Dale went to go nab a space heater and let it all out to God.  I'm now determined to wipe the tears and keep my eyes fixed on my "invincible" God that has been there all along, knows me, my family, and will guide us.  And, I'm praying for him to take me closer to him so I feel that "perfect peace".   Ohh, and as I was finishing this up our friend whose a heating/cooling guy just finished working on our furnace and we've got heat again.  Just a small reminder to me that trusting an "invincible" God does work.

 

 This week I'm gonna include a top 5 list of smallish stuff that I need as a surgery prep.  Yeah, you guessed it as I was writing this blog the surgery prep gal called. I could just go and nab it all but it makes me start to over think it all and my fear factor starts in. And, if I'm truly honest I want to run from it all.   If you can bless me by nabbing one of these or praying that would be stupendous because it doesn't allow me to get into a funk over what will be next week. 

 

1. A bar of Dial Soap- yeah, they want you to shower with an anti-bacterial soap.  And, yes, I'm a fan of pink Dove soap which won't work.

2. Cranberry Juice- a bottle or two.  I can drink clear liquids until around 9 am on January 7th and cranberry juice is on the list of them....and it doesn't make me have nausea.

3. Chloraseptic Spray- to relieve the sore throat I may have after the surgery.

4. Phazyme or Mylicon - it is a med used to relieve gas that I'll need after the surgery for up to a week tops. 

 5. Prayers for myself to be accountable to myself for my health so that my family and friends can have the Sherry that they know back.  And prayers for Em and Dale that they can continue to serve an "invincible" God that they allow to guide their path.   

 

Thanks to one and all for your prayers for our family and help.  God has rallied a great big bunch of awesomeness in each of you and we are so blessed to feel that daily.  

Blessings- Sherry

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Team Spirit

 Team Spirit

Matthew 6:26-27  ^" Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life".

 Wowsies, I've been overwhelmed the past couple of weeks by realizing that although God is with me....and you too.  That He has sent a brigade of cheerleaders my way to encourage, help, and pray for me and my family.  And, because I feel God's hands in this I've accepted each encouraging word, meal, prayer with a welcoming spirit that I never realized that I had.  

I'm grateful and encouraged to keep going daily because I feel it within my soul.  I don't know how we are going to pay the bills, if Em's appeal for this semester, or what the biopsies from my surgery will bring but what I stand firm daily in is God does.  I find myself daily going to the "pity potty" to cry and talk with God about my fears.  And, coming away from that time with the overwhelming knowing that I don't know anything.  But I'm blessed by God's grace and spirit that thrives within me to have comfort in my soul that God knows and has it.

This past week Ted shared with me how depressed he is.  He doesn't have the money to simply write checks that won't bounce for things like the mortgage, insurance, utilities, my surgery and Em's college.  He is caught up in all the here and now and is forgetting God is here with us, holds the future, and has long ago forgiven the past.  When I met him I realized he was a WIP (work in progress) and even told the pastor that counseled us that I could see what a smart, capable, patient, and loving man Ted is and I prayed that one day he would too.  That pastor looked at Ted and said, "You've got the best cheerleader in the world sitting next to you if you will let her".  And, I've done the cheerleading for over 20 years....eeek, wowsies how time flies.

But we are at a point in our relationship that the future is uncertain.  Both of us are plagued by "what ifs" or "how to's" daily.  I even made a journal of bills, contact numbers, and what to pay when for Ted a couple of months ago.  I did it to help him because so many times right now I'm feeling bad and can't do it.  I thought it would be a handy dandy guide to help him but instead it fueled the uncertainty of our world in his heart and spirit. I think if Ted were honest he is scared of how to deal with all the finances, kids, pets, and us.  And if he looked into his heart he is scared of loosing his "cheerleader" that's been around for 20+ years that loved him through all the good, bad, and crazy.  That is what has him depressed.  

I've tried last week to pray with him, help him to pay the mortgage with my earnings, and then went upstairs to the heating pad, a pain pill, and some rest.  I'm not the gal he met 20+ years ago at a "social gathering" at Chuck's house.  I'm wiser with my words, slower to anger, and kinder.  I've had to take a step back over the course of the year and instead of being the leader be absolutely good with being a follower....and let me tell you that has been hard.  But in the past couple of months as I feel worse I'm thrilled to still be included.  As I write this I mourn in my spirit for Ted to have the "Sherry" that he knows and loves back full force but know that won't be for at least a couple of months.

What I'm asking for from all of you this week is to not only pray for our family.  But pray for Ted's spirit to be able to lead our family fearless.  Why fearless?  Because we will all be aligned in our faith in God and allowing Him to work us through this.  Right now I'm blessed to be "fearless" most moments of the day and so are Emily and Dale.  Ted he's our standoff.  I need him to realize that his biggest "cheerleader" doesn't come in his wife or kids.  It is through Jesus. I know that Ted loves God and has given his life to Him.  But I pray this Christmas that Ted allows God to be his "cheerleader" and live fearless.

The scripture above is one that is near and dear to my heart.  It helped get me through on the best and worst of days when Ted went back to college and I was responsible for the bills, the kids, and being the cheerleader.  I pray today that this verse brings you comfort in your world as we all need a "cheerleader" and the realization that Christ has the ultimate cheer squad with God our heavenly father, and the Hold Spirit that resides in our hearts and minds.  I pray this small prayer this week for each of you "I have spirit how 'bout you?" and with that "I pray you do".  


Weekly Update:

*We met about our health insurance and are doing a second meeting on Christmas Eve to make sure that it is all done the best it can be.

*We are blessed that a group of my kiddos teachers took on the job of making sure that Dale and Emily will have some gifts this Christmas. When I asked the kiddos what they would want they both said "We want you well, mom".  But two days later Dale asked if their offer still held and said, "you can never go wrong with Legos"....I absolutely adore seeing Dale not being gloomy but kind of excited.

*We got the cleaning supplies and Em has my home looking pretty good.  I'm so thankful to have the gal that brought the supplies over.  And Em who has taken on cleaning and organizing full force around here.

*Last week Em had a migraine several days and I felt cruddy.  I asked if anyone would bring dinner over and within 30 minutes it was handled.  Both dinners on Thursday and Friday nights were homemade and that was a blessing beyond what I could say.  
 
Top Needs For The Week:

*Pray for Ted right now.  We need him to lead our family right now, pray with us, and be there for us.  Pray that God encourages his spirit and provides him with feeling "fearless".  

*Pray that Emily's appeal is heard and decided on early on in January.  That way we will know if she can continue at Fontbonne or if we need to bring her home.  She is confident in either and told me that she wants me to get better.  I love that kid for being unselfish in a way that I never was at her age....she has taught me through her actions her whole life and I'm so glad that God blessed me with her.

*We could use a gas cards for Ted.  I need to make sure that he has gas to get to work through this month and into January.  He commutes to Shawnee for work daily during the week.   I know it is a worry of ours that if we pay for our monthly expenses and save for surgery how are we going to put gas in the car to get him to work or groceries.  If you want to do this to help Ted and our family let me know.

*If you would want to get a grocery card for Aldis or buy 5 items while you are at the grocery store this coming week that would rock.  I usually love grocery shopping, planning meals, and cooking....right now not so much. I can grocery shop and then cramp the rest of the day.   If you would be willing to do this that would help my family to be able to pay our monthly bills and save for my co-pay for my surgery.  That would be a blessing to our spirits. For Ted and I to know that there are groceries for the kids over Christmas break.  

**Optional- if you want to send a Christmas card, an encouraging message, or anything that you can think of....do it!  All those small things are my "cheerleaders" in the world right now.  They allow me to know that it is not just my family that cares but that I've got a whole team that loves the Lord that is in this with us.  

Throughout the week be sure to show your "team spirit" where you go and to who you meet. 

Blessings -Sherry

   

Rick Ashley Prophecy

Rick Ashley Prophecy

1 Samuel 16:76 "The Lord does not look at things that man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart".


Remember in the 80's that soulful, inspiring singer, Rick Ashley? Ok, maybe he was like pop art at it's best with those catchy lyrics, poppy videos, and that fab hair!  Ohh, be steal my love of hairspray...wahahaha.
  
Why in the world do I bring up Rick Ashley?  Well, yesterday, Em and I went to run errands.  More like walk, cramp, whine, and sit for me but hey I got out there.  We ran across a t-shirt that said "I Want A Man Like Rick Ashley" and then listed out the chorus to Never Gonna Give You Up.  I'm sure you can remember that  one but in case you can't here it is: 

"Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"

All I could do is laugh at the shirt and think to myself, "Geez, Sherry, you've got one.  You've got Jesus".  Through all the days this last year has brought the one true thing that I have beyond heartache, sorrow, and plenty of whines is Jesus is there with me.  He was even there with me when I thought he had turned his back and ran for the hills.  Not a chance with God he is steadfast like that, he loves us enough to let us hit the tough patch and then pick us up and let us keep going.  It seems though that God does allow us time to feel down, have a good cry, allow us to say goodbyes to friends and loved ones that pass from our lives which may be some of hardest times.  The one thing that he doesn't do is lie or deceive us or cause our hurts, pains, or our downfalls.  Those are just that "ours".  

The ability to lie, hurt, deceive, or slander, well, those are  human.  We do those daily in small or sometimes large ways.  I know I've told the driver's license bureau that I still weigh the same as I did when I moved to Missouri....uggh, not so much.  Others hide the truth of what really happened to save their own hearts, souls, and spirits. Or they "run" and end up hurting themselves far more than any hurt they saved others.  I'm that kind of gal. How about you?  I've done it since I was little.  I used to run outside and swing on my swing set when things were bad.  If I was hurt or I didn't want to share my feelings or emotions with anyone I'd "run".  Fears that others would judge or mock me I'd "run". 

I've spent a lifetime "running" when times were tough. I ran from college when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and my parents couldn't pay for college.  I literally used to run when Ted and I would have an argument early on in our marriage to the nearest playground and swing rather than talking it out with him.  I ran from Des Moines where I grew up when my dad died and said that I would never go back.  If you ever wonder why I don't go back to Des Moines to visit....there ya go.  And, I ran last year fast and furious from my family and friends because I went to the ob/gyn and was told that I had bad cells, a mass on my ovary, and a chance that it was cancerous because of my genetics.  Yeah, that was probably the race that I literally ran from the fastest, hardest, and failed as I see it right now.  All I did with not having surgery earlier was hurt myself , my kids, Ted, my friends and disappoint God. 

I know the thought of disappointing someone has me "running" at times through my life.  How about you?  Rather than face what is going on....run.  Show you are incapable of solving a problem or maybe you were the problem...run.   Being who everyone wants and expects you to be you and failing... run for the hills!   Hey, maybe it is just me....but I believe there are more "runners" out there.  What we need to get through our minds, spirits, and souls is that God is disappointed in us at times. But God forgives, loves, and runs right along side us even as we try to avoid him or others that he puts in our path.  He doesn't mock us or cause us physical pain.  

How do I know?   I've been praying daily for God to allow me to have the pain but to let it be tolerable.  It is more painful for me to be seen as a failure as by Ted, the kids, and everyone around me.  And, I swear there have been moments that I would love to "run" to the park and swing it off.  But in reality all that does with the pain in my heart is hold it in.  So, I've ventured one better and asked God to allow my physical and heartache to be tolerable.  To strengthen me through this month and allow me the courage to go on in January.  And, you know what?  It's better....not perfect, not great, or even fine but better.  My spirit is renewed daily through Christ.  Physically, I've been better but by learning to ask God to make it "tolerable" it is most of the time and for the rest of the time there is my new boyfriend, the heating pad.  

My blog this week is all about learning how to daily "bear, believe, endure, love, and hope".  I'm challenging myself and all of you to do just this.  Daily set your alarm for 15 minutes early and ask God to step in and help make your day "tolerable".  Ask him to allow you to "bear, believe, endure, love, and hope" with all those that you come into contact with.  I think we will see a remarkable ability this week to do just that.  Because like the song goes, God is "never gonna run around and dessert you". 

Weekly Update:

I want to thank each of you that have reached out to me this past week.  I love how I've got a couple of Christmas cards from people I don't know....really, I don't.  They have shared that they have been reading my blog and wanted me to know that they are praying for me, that I've got worth, and will never be seen as a failure.  Do you know the power of having a complete stranger write you something that is so personal to you soul?  Wowsies, God is good! 

I've had some people ask me for more "ask" stuff.  How incredible is that?  That is huge for a gal who is glad to be the giver but scared to be the receiver.  And, for that, I thank God.  He is allowing me to grow up and "ask" the people.  They don't see me as being needy, a baby, or crazy....and for that God is good!  

Here's a smallish list of stuff for this week.  I thought I would do a  Top 3  Needs of the Week.  I've been blessed to have so many of those "asks" taken, done, and handled.  Thanks to all of you for helping when I "asked".  I know if January there will be times when we need someone to grab milk, just be there to talk, or if Dale needs something once he gets home from school.  If you would like to be on my list of people that he, Emily, or Ted can call please let me know.

1. I need to have dinner for this Friday and next.  Any takers? I'm still working the shop in Greenwood at this time.  The last two weeks have made me feel like a success to be able to work and have a meal for my family.   The only thing we don't eat is fish or seafood (Dale is allergic to them).  

2. Emily is working on getting our house organized and clean as her gift to me.  She could use the following to help her out : 1 box of gallon ziplocks, 1 box of quart size ziplocks, and 1 box of sandwich size ziplocks. A bottle of orange oil for wood, some Swifter wipes.  We've got wood floors in the house and she is willing to shine them if she's got the supplies.

3. Pray for Emily and Dale.  Their mom isn't quite the "elf" that she normally is.  I'm blessed that they love me all the same.  Today is my birthday and Dale wanted to take me to third Thursdays at Nelson Atkins for my "late birthday".  I had to tell him that I didn't know if I would feel up to it but there would be a day that I would.  It kind of broke my heart....my kid that loves art like me and finds solace in the art gallery doesn't have the mom that can take him and be just as thrilled by it as him.  Em had to help me get up from the artroom today and get upstairs.  She turned on the heating pad and tucked me in to rest.  Geez, I felt a bunch of emotions from shame in not being her fun mom while she is home to thanking God for the girl that is willing to help her mom.  So, yeah, pray that God re-affirms them daily, sends his angels to watch over them and keep them safe, and that they know they are loved and cared about beyond measure.  Those are all the things I've prayed for them since they were small and I'd like to have you all do the same.

Blessings on your week- Sherry

The Gift of Gab

The Gift of Gab 

 Luke 7: 39-48

I truly do feel blessed right now.  Did I wake up this morning and feel 100% better? Nope.  But what I've done in the past few weeks is allow others into my world right now through blogging, talking, and those beloved inboxes on Facebook. 

The small stuff like : having someone bring us dinner last Friday night, having dog food (that I didn't have to lift), and some cleaning supplies (Em just got home and is putting them all to work right now).  Knowing someone will pick Dale up from school, deliver a scarf, or  nab stuff for Emily (deodorant, contact solution, and nail polish remover) like I normally do before she comes home.  And having kids that came with their mama to decorate for Christmas at my house so my kids would have some kind of normalcy.  These are  all smalls that mean huge to my spirit right now.  Then there is the big stuff like having gal pals to go to mammogram and doctor's consult with me yesterday.  The joy is that it looks like the mammogram was normal... God is good.

As for my consult well it was scary, less than perfect, and the kind that last year freaked me out. The difference is that God have overwhelmed my heart and spirit over the course of a year.  He has redirected me , set me on a path, and I know anything from my past is forgiven, over, said and done in His book.

 I was blessed to have a gal pal drive me there.  She is a little older than me and reminds me of my mom & Emily.  She sensible, rational, and orderly all the things that I admire but am far from.  God placed her in my path for a premise and reason and yesterday I know why.  I could have easily cried my heart out and ran away from it all....but hey, that was last year.  This year I had my gal pal that is steadfast in her faith waiting for me, who talked with me about the consult briefly, and then just gabbed with me.  No time for worries when you are gabbing, right? I love what a joy & blessing she was to my world.  Oh, and did I mention she had inboxed Emily on Facebook to say that she was with me ...yes, they are kindred spirits.

This year God granted me the sanity to get through the consult without tears.  To take it head on and to absorb what Dr. Angell told me.  Here's the scoop :  I'll have surgery on January 7, 2015 at 1:00.  Dr. Angell has consulted with another doctor that will help her with it.  She was unsure if she could get the mass out with laparoscopy but with the other doctor they feel confident that they can do the job.  The danger would be in getting the mass out this way because of its size.  And, if the mass is cancerous and would burst as they try to get it out the cancer cells would flood into my organs.  That is some kind of crazy girl scary right there, right?  But they have pathology ready to take the mass, cysts, and ovaries and get to work on them as soon as they are out.

She then shared with me that my blood pressure has been up each visit this fall and that is a concern to her and the other doctor.  The concern is two fold : It is up high enough that I could have a heart attack now.  And when they do the surgery I could have a heart attack or stroke. Because of this after the surgery I can't go on estrogen right away.  They need to make sure the blood pressure is down before we start that.  Dr. Angell said that in recovery if I have a hard time waking up or if my blood pressure is still high they will keep me overnight.  To that I told her I would actually prefer it so my family doesn't have to deal with me for the night and we laughed and talked about them.  I shared about my financial situation and Emily.  She told me she knew I was in pain and it wasn't perfect and to try to have a good Christmas.  She also said that consult was a freebie....God is good!

Last night when Ted got home we talked about my consult and I cried.  It is far from perfect or any sort of normal that we know.  I'm the one that plans out stuff, my birthday is a couple of weeks away, and Christmas with the kids and no gifts....ugggh, what a failure I am.  I just let it all out through my tears.  Finally, Ted, said, "Uhhh, Sherry, don't do this to yourself.  If you've already got high blood pressure it must be racing right now".  And on his face I could see the Ted that I know and love that would follow me to the ends of the Earth, try to do what I ask, and love me patiently through it all.  And, yup, I cried some more. 

If I'm completely honest right now I want to be on a pity potty and cry.  But my I hear my mom's voice saying , "Sherry, crying is a natural release of emotions.  But you have to stop because pretty soon all you do is make your eyes all red and your nose all runny".  Today, I was reading through my devotional and came across the story of Jesus with the gal that wiped his feet with her tears and put oil on his feet. Within the story it says " I tell you her sins -and there are many- have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love.  But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.  Then Jesus said to the woman, "Your sins are forgiven".

In some weird way I think my mom was right through your tears they are a release.  They are a release of your fears, failures, and the unknown that we all have.  Today as I cried I felt that "release" factor that my mom talked about.  But I also feel enveloped in love from my family....I mean what college chicky wants to come home and clean her family's home?  And what son wants to help his mom to bed each night and then comes and checks on her? And what hubby diligently goes to work day in and out knowing that his wife isn't well, finances are a mess, and his world is being shaken?  My family and they do it out of love for God and that they love me too.   And my friends have rallied around me to take to me appointments, get Dale, bring over some groceries, some pretty soaps,  a gas card to help ensure Ted gets to work.  All of shows me God's love reaching out to this family.  God's  love reaches out beyond people that we know to others that we don't that offer a dinner, a conversation, or prayers.  It has me believing that God's warm, loving embrace is not only Heavenly but earthly.  And, the biggest blessing is realizing that this dorky, quirky, artsy chick is forgiven and loved by her Heavenly Father and others around her.

May you find through your tears that same love and support.  It's not easy to admit we need help, are broken in spirit and body, and hurting.  But when you do God will send the right people in your world to be his hands and feet to lift you up, encourage, wipe away the tears, and love you.

If you want to help our family this week or in December I would love it. Ask me how and I've got a list of "smalls" or if you have something in mind just do it. Thank you all for showing God's love through your words & actions to our family. 

Peace be with you- Sherry

Wannabee

Wannabee

Romans 13: 8-10

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. ⁹ The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,”^[a] and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^{[b] 10} Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. 


Do you remember growing up and having dreams or wishes?  Or playing pretend?  I heard about Anastasia as a little kid.  I remember pretending my family just held me in hiding because like Anastasia there were people out there that wanted to harm me and see the end of my father's royal kingdom.  

I would put on my finest velvet dress (yes, even in the summer when it was packed in clothing bags with moth balls) and then adorn every necklace and ring in my collection.  I would also snoop through my mom's jewelry and nab some of her rhinestones garb.  And finally, yes, I would go to the bathroom to grab some ruby red lipstick that was my moms and put some not only on my lips but checks and eyelids.  My mom would find me and get so mad that I had out her "good jewelry" and had crushed her lipstick with my shenanigans.  She would tell me that I looked like a "wild gypsy".  I always took it that she didn't want the "people" that would harm me to get a glimpse of my royal beauty.  And, that gypsies whoever they were had a great sense of style.

Once I went to school I found a new dream....to be a teacher.  I've wavered along the path but always found my way back to education and my original dream of teaching in a classroom.  I've been blessed to have taught kindergarten, at Headstart, and preschool.  And, then God's clever joke on me was to send me back as a paraprofessional at the high school here in town.  That was my dream after all to be a high school English teacher.  Yeah, and the joke was that I used gyp high school rather than be there....let's not talk of my junior year when I was gone more than there.  Ahh, but God, led me back to four and half years of high school right here in town and I'm glad to say that I didn't gyp those days.
  
The verse from Romans keeps coming back to me throughout this past week.  It basically says that your one debt as a Christian is to love one another above all others.  And when you love someone you are fulfilling God's dream for his people.  I love that thought!  And, how it plays into my life right now.

"Wanna" is a strange and taxing thing that we allow into our spirits.  Even as a kid I "wanna" entered in to my world and followed me through my teens, and adulthood.  I find my "wannas" at this point sounding more like whines than those dreams that I've always had.  I hear inside my head ; I "wanna" feel well physically so I can be a mom to my kids and a wife to Ted.  I "wanna" feel free daily to run into the city if I chose to nab treasures.  I "wanna" be able to paint freely, design, and work creatively without pain when I bend.  I "wanna" be able to go back and sub if I need to financially so I can afford Emily's education.  I "wanna" be able to make the bed each morning, throw in a load of clothes, and do the dishes, and tidy up the house without cramping for hours with pain.  I "wanna" walk upstairs at night on my own because I'm tired not because I'm cramping or need to vomit.  I "wanna" make Christmas cookies, go to Crown Center on my birthday to see the decorations and window shop.  I "wanna" be able to have gifts for the kids and not feel every darn day that I'm failing them as their mom.  I "wanna" go on a date night with Ted and not have to go home early because I'm cramping or have thrown up.  

Ahh, that "wanna" list is huge, peeps.  I betcha yours is too, right?  We all have "wanna" in our inner core.  It is so hard to close "wanna" out and allow "love" in.  That's right I said it allow "love" in.  That means calming "wanna" and allowing your words and actions to be "love" rather than your own emotional or physical needs.  That is where a true challenge begins.  I was blessed to have Ginny Brown as my neighbor lady as a kid.  She dealt in "love".  She took me to the Des Moines Art Center weekly, we went to plays, fun bakeries and restaurants, and she invested time in the artsy little neighbor girl.  Ginny Brown died when I was in junior high from cancer.  And, even as she layed in her bed at home she would call her neighbor girl weekly and ask me to come over.  Did she need something? Nope, she would ask how I was and let me confess all my teen "wannas", problems, and tell me that she was there for me. We'd play animal snap like when I was little and laugh together.  She would tell me how I may feel like I was different but that was because I was designed for greatness among the masses.   And, I believed that until she passed from cancer after her year long struggle.

If I have to confess my biggest "wanna" right now during Christmas it is to have God's grace like Ginny Brown.  To seek out others in love and allow them someone that will listen to their problems. I think right now that is the form of "love" that I've got to give.  God graced me with the mass on my ovary to slow me down.  To make me stop the "wanna" in me and figure out how to "love" effectively for Him.  For that I'm grateful.  

I'm also grateful for those who have wrapped me in prayer, reached out to our family, and stepped up to help me.  I'm still working on the "ask" portion of my character.  I think that once my surgery is done I'll have gained a greater perspective in learning how to "ask", creating a new "circle" of trust, and learning to "love" in a way that God wants me to and allows me to if I just give up all I think I know and follow him.  

That being said I need to share my top 10  joys for this past week and "ask" for 10 more things.  Yeah, I really am taking this "ask" thing to a another level but I adore how God is allowing me to. 

Top 10 Joys  

1. Last week I picked up my check from the shop.  With that check, some smallish orders, and orders from ETSY I was able to pay over a half of Emily's tuition.  God is good!

2. Ted is relieved about Emily's tuition payment is able to focus on working with me to rework our finances right now. God is good!

3. My mammogram is done!  I'll find out the results in a couple of days.  They wanted to do a sonogram too but my doctor wasn't in the office and couldn't sign the paperwork for it...uggh.  But, I was graced with a gal pal that took me, sat with me, and even took me for Starbucks afterwards. God is good!

4. A gal pal contacted me and bought two newbie pillows that she can't use.  Her hubby doesn't like them.  She is going to bring those over and I can gift them to Em and Dale for Christmas.  I always give them each a new pillow for Christmas ....it is something smallish that I started when Ted was in college and money was tight that has continued.  The tradition of a pillow gift continues....God is good!

5. Friday dinners are planned and happening.  God is good!

6. Tomorrow I'm blessed to have a gal pal and her kiddos come in the morning to decorate the mantel and hang greenery outside for me.  This perfect because later in the afternoon I go for my surgery consult with another gal pal.  My whole day is filled with friends so I don't have time to dwell in my pain or fears.  God is good!

7. Em had a tough day last week.  My heart and spirit were literally broke for her.  I prayed with her and then prayed by myself to God.  I cried because it seemed like things were overwhelming for her and I wasn't there to help or even hug her.  I prayed for God to give me 5 women I could ask to pray for Em and that loved her like me.  And withing minutes he answered that prayer.  I was able to contact each and ask for continued prayers for her and within minutes they answered back and were praying.  God is good!

8. I had enough in ETSY sales last week to buy Emily train ticket home tomorrow & pay on her tuition payment.  God is good!

9. Dale helped me this week with laundry, doing dishes, making beds, and sweeping the floors.  He is a great asset to me and keeps me going.  He sometimes will look at me and just come over and hug me and tell me to "Stop thinking all those things. You are loved so stop it"....the thing is it is when I'm quiet and trying to figure out how it is all going to work out, feeling guilty, or that I'm taking away from my family financially.  God graced me with Dale to calm my fears and guilt.  God is good! 

10. I feel not alone in feeling sick right now.  I'm blessed to have reach out and "asked" and people are willing to help me.  That not only makes me know I'm not alone but has taken the weight off my shoulders to do things.  And, I've got to rest more and create more in the last week for a while. God is good!

Top 10 Ask For The Week

1. I've had a couple of gal pals say they would make Christmas cookies and bring them by.  If you are baking and want to make some extra for the Sniders do it.  I would love it to have my cookie jars filled so I can be the neighbor lady that always has a cookie and kool-aid for you (yeah, that is part of my "love" thing since I moved to my neighborhood 15 years ago).

2. Ted & I are working with our mortgage company to see if they would allow us to do a forbearance on our loan.  Pray that we can fill out the paperwork and that they will hear our request and help work with us through this time.

3. I would love to take the kiddos to the movies on Christmas.  It is our tradition but I'm trying to save back money for my surgery co-pay.  So, if you want to but four family movie tickets that would rock.

4. I need someone to pick Dale up from school tomorrow (Wednesday) while I'm at my surgery consult.  If you can do that please get a hold of me asap.

5. Emily is coming home tomorrow and will be a huge help to me.  She is my cleaner/organizer.  I need some cleaning stuff : 1. Tide, 2. Snuggle fabric softener, and 3. Bounce sheets, 4. Clorox wipes, and 5. 409 spray.  That way she can be equipped to help me and not have to worry about driving to get supplies.

6. Each year our family collects mittens and gloves for an elementary school in Hickman Mills.  Ted used to work there and knows the principal.  Anyway, throughout the year we collect them and buy them.  This year we are falling short.  If you would consider going to a dollar shop where they sell them for $1 each and buying $10 worth that would rock. Our goal each year is to have enough so the staff and teachers can give a pair to each child in the school before Christmas break.

7. We need some sound advice about our health insurance.  We are planning on making an appointment next week to go and talk with someone to make the best choices for our family.  Pray about that for us.  Em has meds and sees the neurologist each month, Ted is a diabetic and has monthly meds and supplies for that, and I've got the upcoming surgery on January 7th.

8. We bought a used frig and think that it needs a part to make it cool.  But Ted wants a second opinion before we buy the part.  If you or someone you know can look at it for me to make sure we are on the right path please let me know.

9.  Do you need a "elf" to help sew or make something as a Christmas gift?  I'm your gal & Emily will be home to help me soon.  Feel free to contact me on facebook, in the comments for the blog, or call the house.  And, of course share our story with peeps and send them my way too.  All that extra biz helped pay for half of Emily's tuition last week.  Ohh, and because Em is coming home she can help me with "December To Remember Workshops".  Ask me for dates & what we are doing!

10. My birthday is December 16th.  I usually am nagging everyone telling them what I love chai tea, candles, and sea salt carmels.  Those things haven't changed...wahahhaha.  But I'd really love if someone would make our family dinner or send pizza our way that night.  

I want to tell each of you that God has designed each of us for greatness just like Ginny Brown used to tell me.  How can that be?  Well, it's easy we need to "love" like he commands us to.  I know that God has literally stopped me in my tracks over this past year to teach me and I can honestly say that I ran from it, hid out for a while, and tried to make peace.  But it wasn't until I surrendered all of it to Him that I'm learning who He designed the Anastasia wannabee to be.  He designed me to be a strong, capable, and a force to be reckoned with for His kingdom....I just love how that feels to my very core.  He slowed me down to recalculate it all and for me to choose to serve him and others in "love".  And, for that my soul and spirit is grateful.  I would pray that in the coming week you choose to serve God in "love" by what you can do for others that surround you, you allows a new "circle" to form, and that you "ask" when you need help and lean in on your faith always.  Challenge this week: calm your "wanna" and see that "love" that God allows you to give and share will outweigh any "wanna" in the world.  

Blessings - Sherry

Faith Enough For Both Of Us

 Faith Enough For Both of Us

I wanted to let you all know that I'm overwhelmed with the number of friends that have stopped by, called, or emailed this week already.  A number of my "ask" items have been handled. I've got to share with you about Tuesday because it makes my soul sing God's praises. I went to Dr. Angell's office to get a prescription for pain meds and she had forgot to write it.  I had driven into Lee's Summit after picking Dale up from school.  They told me that I could pick it up at the office the next day anytime after 10:30.   I got so discouraged in the car ride home that I cried and started to gripe with Dale riding beside me.  I said out loud , "I've just had it.  I'm just going to call in the morning and cancel the stupid consult.  I can't afford to do it and I'm done".  Dale looked at me and said, "Stop it! You are going to that appointment next week and you are not going to cancel it!  I don't know how we are going to pay for it but God does".  Then early that next morning when I got up from cramping so bad to work on an financial appeal for Emily's spring tuition.  I figured it would be better than laying in bed in pain to actually be doing something.  A friend was up too and got a hold of me on Facebook.  She asked if I would let her take me to the consult and pay the co-pay.  Oh, my goodness, all my fears and discouragement melted.  My 14 year old son was right.....God knows how it is all going to happen. 

Last night Ted and I talked about making the finances work.  It seems impossible at this point to make it all work....if you look on it in paper there is no way.  And, to boot I was cramping badly even with my newbie pain med.  I must have looked exasperated and defeated. Ted said, "Sherry, I've got faith that God is going allow me to make enough to pay off Emily's tuition next Friday. We won't have money for anything else but it will be paid for her. And, I don't know how we are going to make it work.  But if you don't have the faith I've got enough for both of us".....wowsies, that is a turning point in our marriage.  Ted being the leader!  He's always the soft spoken hubby that goes along with my crazy ideas and allows me to lead most of the family stuff, finances, etc.  But he was firm with what he said and meant it which threw me for a loop.  And, then I thought of what my mom said a long time ago, "When Ted is definite about something being right or wrong listen to him, Sherry.  He lets a lot pass by but when he feels it and says something listen".  Ok, God, mom, Ted, Dale, and the rest of you, I hear it.  Have faith.  God will not forsake you or condemn you.  He is steadfast and serves to love and guide your path.   Now have some faith. 

Then I looked through my top 10 list and saw what He is doing in my life.  Maybe through learning how to "ask" I'm also learning to have faith in God and others around me. Here's what has been done:

*I've got friends from church that are going with me next week to my surgery consult and to a mammogram.  God is good!

*We had a precious family offer to bring up my box of ornaments and greenery and even decorate the mantel and outside door for me.  God is good!

*I got some paper plates last night from a kindred soul.  Thanks for allowing me to feel more confident to be a mom & wife through those plates.  God is good!

*The Snider dogs have their 50 pound bag of food....and they are so thankful to the gal that brought it over and took Dale to youth last night too.  God is good!

*We've got dinner for all the Fridays handled....thanks to a newbie friend, a college chum, and my church lady pal.  God is ahhh-mazingly good!

I've been called, inboxed, and e-mailed and asked what can people do right now.  This is what remains from my initial list:

1. Friday Dinners- they are all covered.  But I was asked by a friend to make a top 5 grocery list.  She would go and buy 5 items under $40.  I thought what a remarkable idea.  That being said contact me if you want to do a 5 item & under $40 grocery shopping for me. 

2. If you want to send your Starbucks drink money or do your fast food lunch money feel free to take it to Bank Midwest in Lee's Summit and deposit it in Emily Snider's account.  Or you can Paypal it to sherryboberry2@yahoo.com. 

3. Need an "elf" to help sew or create a Christmas gift.  Ask this gal.  I was blessed last night that a friend stopped over and while we gabbed I was able to make some of her Christmas gifts.  I loved how gabbing and being creative took my mind off the cramping I had.  God is gracious and lets that happen.  So, feel free to ask me about projects.

Finally, I'm feeling like I can "ask" some more at this point. I know that the path with my health won't be easy.  And, to pay Em's tuition is not going to be easy either but I feel like God is gracing our way through a "circle" of friends that work through Him to help us.  So, I'm going to be bold and "ask" that you pray that we can make it through this month.  And, I'm going to ask you to help me with Christmas for my kids.  I know they are older and that they would rather see tuition be paid and their mom have surgery than a gift but I'm going to "ask" you to help me be their mom and make something small happen for them.

1.  I buy a new pillow for each of my kids from Kohl's each Christmas.  I need two pillows and they can be from any store. 

2. We are our family : Ted, Sherry, Emily, and Dale.  And so, the holidays are always hard on us because we don't have extended family to celebrate with. When the kids were younger Ted went back to college and we didn't much money.  We learned the importance of just having one another.  And, instead of a traditional Christmas dinner we had pizza and snacks.  Last year we asked the kids about their best Christmas and they talked about the one with pizza. So, we took the kids to the movies and had pizza and snacks at the house last year.   I would love to do that this year.  So, I need four movie tickets, a couple of frozen pizzas, and some snacks.

3. If you would like to do something else for the kiddos here they are: We had plans of getting Em a smallish printer to take back with her so she wouldn't have to go to the Commuter's Lounge to print her papers. She rides Amtrak and would have to take it on the train with her so it would need to be small and be able to be carried easily. If it would just print in black ink that would be fine. And, I wanted to get Dale some new shoes from Famous Footwear.  But if those two things don't happen it is no sweat.  If you can nab pillows, movie tickets, frozen pizzas, or snacks that would make my heart sing.

4. My birthday is December 16 and I'll turn 45.  Friends that have known me for a while know how I love Snickers and Coke.  Right now both bring me nausea and I get sick from them.  But for my birthday I would love  : a Confetti Angel Food Cake.  Yeah, I know that an angel food cake is time consuming and can turn out flat.  But as a kid growing up my mom made one each year for me because it was my favorite.  I would love that for my birthday and haven't had one in years.  If you have the skills to make one that would be ahh-mazing. 

5.  If you are making Christmas cookies would you consider bringing a plate with some to the house?  I would adore that my family could munch on them & me too.

 There's my revised "ask" list.  Take care one and all and know we are going to be all right we've got faith in that.  We don't know how it will all work but it will according to God's plan and in His timing. And, if I question that faith or get into despair I know that Ted will have "faith enough for both of us" and that I'm blessed to have him, Dale, Emily, and a large "circle" of friends to remind me of that.

Thanks to each of you for teaching me to "ask" and walk in faith that people will listen.

Blessings- Sherry

Stirred But Not Shaken

Stirred But Not Shaken

Acts 4:21-31

Ever had a defining moment?  I've got ones that stick out from the past now that I'm older but when you are in that "defining moment" you don't always see it as that.  At least I know that I don't.  Those are the moments that have brought me on my knees in tears, made me boost proud as a peacock, and made my heart grow maybe two sizes too large....just like the Grinch.

Yesterday, at best was one of those moments.  I wasn't expecting or anticipating it but as I walked through it all I knew in my very core and soul that it was one.

I woke up with a huge amount of physical pain but pushed through and got Dale to school and picked up Ted (he had to get repairs to the Jeep).  After getting home I managed to get upstairs to go lay down and take some motrin for the pain.  I had a friend call, got up and went to the artroom, and then Ted came to talk to me.  We are in over our heads, peeps, with finances.  It's not that smallish kind either or so bad as when Ted went back to college full time.  But once we budget out our expenses there is not enough to pay for Emily's tuition and for the co-pay for my surgery.  And, we would have to decide to pay for either our health insurance or our mortgage to meet either the tuition or the co-pay.  Uggh, to say I was upset was beyond, I was angry to the core.  I was angry at Ted, angry with myself that I can't work full force right now or even get a part time job because I feel so terrible most days.  And, then failure came up to haunt me to let me know what a crappy mom I am for not being able to pay for Em's tuition in a timely fashion, not being a good wife to Ted in helping him with budgets.  And, what a failure I am as a person, for God's sake, I can't even go and substitute teach, work at McDonalds, etc because I can't bend down without pain and who needs that from an employee?

True confession I drove completely exasperated and defeated to pick Dale and his friends up from school yesterday.  I cried in the high school parking lot and Dale got in the car and saw me.  I told him I was going to take a deep breath and stop.  And, how sorry I was.  He said, "Mom, your a girl and girls get to cry.  Just do it and don't think about it".   And, so, that is what I did with Dale by my side holding my hand.  I cried it out and talked to God aloud and told him how sorry I was for my failures and asked for his mercy to be who he designed me to be. With that I dried it up and we went to get Dale's friends.

It dawned on me that I wasn't defeated and that I needed to remember to ask and rely on others to help me.  Goodness, gracious, I'm one person and right now I need help beyond prayers.  So, I had the boys go to the grocery store with me, nab the stuff we needed for dinner, and they helped me make homemade chicken tenders and buffalo chips.  And all three of them just did it....no nagging required.  Ted cleaned up the kitchen so I could go sit down and even brought me a coke. At that moment I thought, "Sherry, this is a defining moment.  You will not be broken or shaken I'm with you.  Now, start asking".

My defining moment today and for a lifetime is to learn to "ask".  I was raised to be self sufficient and not to rely on others and never your friends.  Have you ever seen the movie "Meet The Parents"?  The dad talks about the "circle of trust" do you remember that?  Well, then you've meet my dad.  I was raised to believe the world is : 1. a cold hard place, 2. people don't care they are just out to get you, and 3. it's better to get them or what you want before they get you, and 4. the only people that love you in the world are your mom, dad, and brother and they are the only ones that you can trust.  I've wrestled with this for years.  I've always felt in my core and soul that if you want to help someone and can....do it.  If you have friends and rely on them that is fine.  But then the daily stress of life comes and I start to think "circle of trust" thoughts. 

Well, today is a new day and a defining moment.  I'm going to "ask" and trust what God is saying.  He's my almighty, omnipresent father who loves me beyond compare, is always there, and wants the best from me.  So, here goes my "Top Ten Help Sherry List":

1. I need someone to help me carry up some ornaments and lights to do my mantle in my living room.  I've decided not to do the tree this year....that breaks my heart but I just can't do it and I need my family to help with basic stuff like dishes, laundry, etc.

2. I need: some paper plates and cups.  I want to not have to worry about seeing the sink with dishes because then I try to do them and wind up cramping for at least 45 minutes or all day if I do them.

3. I want my greenery and wreath hung outside my door.  And if you can string the lights from it that would rock.  It's all in my garage I just need help to get it out and get it hung.

4. On Fridays when I work I need someone to donate a meal to our family.  Once I work the day I can barely walk to my car at times because of the cramping.  I don't care if someone would bring a couple cans of soup and peanut butter sandwiches.  I just need it done on Friday nights through December.

5. Dr. Angell wants me to get in my mamogram before my surgery.  She felt some lumps on my left breast.  I need someone to take me to St. Lukes East, sit with me, and then take me home afterwards.  It is a walk in deal but they gave me a card and said I could make an appointment. I just need to know that someone will go with me.

6. Next, Wednesday, December 10th, I go for my pre-op appointment with Dr. Angell.  I need someone to drive me there, sit with me, and drive me home.  Again, I just need someone there with me.The co-pay for that is $80 and right now I don't have that.  Pray that I'm able to come up with it by next week.

7. We get our dog food from Tractor Supply Company in Lee's Summit.  We get the big old bag that is $19 and around 50 pounds.  I need someone that loves my family and our pets enough to go and purchase the bag and bring it to the house.

8. I'm working on an appeal for Em's tuition for the spring.  Over break here at home I talked with Emily about possibly having to come home next semester with my health stuff because I don't know how to pay for it all.  She said, "I'd rather have my mom be healthy and be here than what is going on right now". Pray that the appeal is accepted and if not :  we will need a group of friends that will use their vehicles to move her home this month.

9. Need something made handmade?  Contact me.  I would love to be your Elf. Although, physically, lots of stuff I can't do I can still sew and paint smallish things.  Let me know if I can make your kiddos matching Christmas jammies, sew your daughter and her American girl matching nighties, or anything else.  I need the work to pay for Em's tuition and my co-pay and it blesses me to take my mind off my health stuff.

10. I was asked last year by a friend if she could do a fundraiser for me.  I told her no that I could handle it.  Guess what?  I can't . This is the hardest of all 10 for me to ask for.  But, here's my Fundraiser for all of you.  Take and talk with a friend or your family.  Tell them about our family and what is going on.  Then instead of going to Starbucks with a friend donate that to our family to help pay Em's tuition off by December 11th to keep her in college.  Or instead of taking your family out for fast food or a restaurant donate that to our family to help with my co-pay for my surgery.  How can you do that?  You can send it via Paypal to sherryboberry2@yahoo.com.  Or you can go to Bank Midwest in Lee's Summit, Missouri and ask to deposit it into Emily Snider's account.  Either would help and make an impact in our lives.

I've been reading in Acts this week and ran across Acts 4:21-31.  I keep coming to the fact that others in Christ have been put to the test, had their "defining moments" and  instead of being shaken by their circumstances they have been reaffirmed in their faith that God.  I feel like these verses can re-affirm us all that no matter what the circumstance if we praise God and allow him to take care of our major cares that we may get "stirred" to action to help our friends, family, and others.  And it is by this "stirring" that we are reminded that we are never shaken by God only "stirred" into situations where we are able to praise, pray, and help others.

May God bless and keep each of you this holiday season.  I praise God today for the ability to write and share my inner thoughts and concerns with each of you.  I'm allowing God to challenge my "circle of trust" ideals and allow others to be a part of "circle" which He has created.  A "circle" that helps, cares for, and encourages each other.  Your challenge as well as mine this coming week is to allow God to work within this "circle" rather than relying on yourself. 

Blessings- Sherry

PS:  Below is a pic of the kiddos with our dogs over Thanksgiving.  We talked not doing Christmas gifts this year and taking any of that money to use for Em's tuition or my surgery.  I'm so blessed to have both Emily and Dale as my children because they felt that if we are together that is what is really important.  They both told me that having their mom get well would be better than anything else.  So, today, and this week I'm gonna sound out some praise for two remarkable kiddos that God has graced me with.