Receive 2 Believe

You must understand that grace is given by the Father and receive it so you can give grace in this world.

Have you heard "receive to believe"  before? Yeah, that is a great statement and catchy too.  But in my my heart I knew the definition but I didn't know the heart of grace until my 40s .  I gave grace to others and see the world in rose colored glasses...but that's another blog.

I personally didn't realize that God's grace was being given to me.  I was a punctual patty, brown noser that did her work and picked up others.  Instead of picking up more I needed to take a break.  God saw this and saw me as his beautiful beloved daughter. When I looked in the mirror I saw someone that was ; overworked, under appreciated, and hurt in ways that I didn't have words for.  To be honest I believed but had no idea how to receive. 

It took a cancer diagnosis a round of radiation and chemo and a beautiful cancer counselor to let me receive "grace".  Even then my mind thought "well, sure, I'm sick so yeah people can give me grace".  Wrong! That is not receiving grace that is making an excuse. 

In 2018 I have been challenged to "ponder" words.  The nerd in me loves that! God has been reforming my mind with words, their worldly definitions, and spirit led ones.  I was late in 2018 for; work deadlines, for friends events, dinner, and grace.

You see I had to come to grips with the reckless love of God.  That he gives more grace than I could imagine.  That he knows all my dirt and gives me grace.  He knows my thoughts and gives me grace.  He knows my pain and gives me grace....and, the list goes on. 

And, incredibly in 2018 I fully recognized what it means for "grace given grace received".  It means because He gives me grace I can receive and give grace to another.  It is a circle that repeats and there is no end.  Did you catch that....there is NO END. 

I think it is the cleverness of God to give "grace".  He wants to draw us near, to be in wonder over his infinite precision. He wants this girl to nerd out on words and broaden her mind.  He wants to blow up what I think to be true with grace.

Peace be with you- Sherry

UPDATES

* Dale, the sonshine, was invited the National Society of Leadership and Success aka Sigma Alpha Pi at Northwest Missouri State.  I'm gonna bragger mom out and tell you that he got an A is college calculus and was on the honor role.

*Emily, the darling dot, got her application and transcripts sent to Northwest and is waiting to hear back.  Pray that there is grace at Northwest for Emily and she is accepted.

*I've got a grant writer that wants to meet and work with me to help me write grants to teach art in KC and in Wagner. In 2018 I knew that what I do as a light bearer of the Father was bigger than our own budget or help from friends.  God was telling me things about places I would go in a few eyars and I thought, "yeah, nice thought" but I can't afford it.  By the fall I realized that those places were God driven purpose.  I realized in December that it can no longer just be the Ted & Sherry Show with friends helping when I sat in Wagner, South Dakota the first night after my tire blew out. If I had a grant imagine what I could do to be light, grace, and creativity to the world.

*I've been reading from Mark this year.  The words "teacher" grab at me in a way I don't remember as as kid.  Jesus was our savior but he was a "teacher".  Isn't God so good that he would grace me to be a teacher.  In Mark 1:38 it says "go somewhere else, to small towns nearby, you have to spread the Good News in them".  It's just one of the "ahhhh-ha" moments in my life to be; light, love, and creativity.  I've wrote a proposal for both places in Overland Park and Harrisonville.  Pray that they are received with grace and I can go there to teach art in 2019. 

Trepidation and Trust Start With T

In all honesty I've felt a wave of trepidation in my spirit since returning from Wagner, South Dakota on Christmas.  I can place what is making me feel uneasy, feel fear, and really just put me on edge.  I'm faith filled, love the Lord, and know he chooses me.  But there is something small inside that has been growing.  Something that is dark, menacing, and I truly don't have words for. 

As I write in my journal I each day I write the word "trepidation". I've got friends that pick words at the beginning of each year as their motto.  I've been asked by my ministry team to pick a word and write about it. I've been praying and I keep thinking, "Lord, are you kidding me? I'm not making this the year of trepidation". 

This week as I was praying and writing in my journal "trepidation" I felt something else. It was a reply from our Heavenly Father ;  "Trepidation and trust both start with T.  Which you do is your choice.  It is the sweet freedom that I gave you".  Ohh, geez, yeah, ok, I get it, Heavenly Father, I need to choose. 

I wrote this response; " thank you for allowing me to be hands and feet but realizing it can be far more than that. It is refinement, peace, and channeling of the spirit to guide, direct, and navigate with precise insight".

This week I've had the opportunity to share this with two friends.  They both told me that they needed to hear it.  I think perhaps that "trepidation and trust both start with T. Which you do is your choice. It is the sweet freedom that I gave you" is for you too.  I'm being bold today to write this and share it with you....you can share it too. 

As a side note my word for this year is not trepidation but magnitude.  Magnitude in 2019. How can I be God's magnitude of love ? Ohh, but that's another blog.  

Peace be with you- Sherry

Updates

• Sonshine ; Dale returns to college on Sunday.  Please pray over him that he can safely get to the airport to pick up his roomie and then back to Maryville. 
• Darling Dot; With the weather changes Emily is having a hard day and feels like she's in slow motion.  Over the past month her eye has started to twitch for 5 to 30 minutes at a time, multiple times during the day.  If you would pray for her health that would be remarkable. 
• Me; this week I had a friend talk with me that has a grant writer that wants to meet me, help me write a grant, and has encouraged me to dream big. She helped me to think about the word "magnitude" in a very real wonderful way.

Feather Dusting

I'm working this afternoon in my art studio to write this blog.  I've been distracted by this weaving project that I took on from strips that the kid artists in Wagner made.  It feels unfinished and each time I look at it I feel like something is wrong but I can't quite distinguish what it is.

I was reading from James this week and writing in my journal.  I wrote the words "feather dusting" and was confused as I asked God for clarification secretly praying the message wasn't "clean your house".  Thankfully, it wasn't about cleaning.  Feather dusting is just touching the surface without a lasting effect.

It made me think of the lovely feather duster that I have and how I use it to tidy up and then the next day there is dust again. It reminds me that in 2018 I prayed to see the world through God's eyes, ears, and heart.  I was blessed with that imagery this past year and seriously have cried more tears over this past year.  Instead of praying over people I have petitioned God on their behalf like the protesting peace punk I once was.  Time and time again I feel closer to our Abba Father and sense that he is "on it" or "it is so" with those petitions.  I can honestly say I love to hear "it is so" but "on it" means that I still petition until I hear "it is so".

This week with the thoughts of "feather dusting" I felt the word "atonement" again and again.  Atonement is the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ.  It made me feel that some know Christ but are too lost in their own world, uncertainties, and pain to really know Him.  We've all been there when worldly problems take over our whole thoughts, numbing us to what God is speaking to our hearts, blinding us from seeing others as God's beloveds, and deafen our ears to hear only our concerns or "father dusting".

I feel like that is where I was the first 24-36 hours that I was in Wagner, South Dakota last month. I had blown a tire on the interstate at dusk.  I was personally attacked and bashed on social media for going to Wagner when "you should stay home and find a job to pay your bills". Yeah, instead of seeing Wagner as a great opportunity to shine light, love, and grace I was filled with hurt, angst, and tears.  The next morning I woke up and broke into tears in the shower. Those tears formed into a petition to the Lord and I heard "do you trust me?".

That question continued into the morning until in tears I broke down and answered a half hearted "yes".  I went to check my messages and there were two from friends offering encouragement and telling me to set up a "Go Fund Me". I went to leave the church to get the tires checked and had two people stop me and ask for a ride. Instead, of taking them home I explained that my car wasn't working right and I needed to take it to the local shop to have it looked at.  It was the truth but it felt selfish.  My head said "your tires are a mess and might shred so ignore the ask". Instead of seeing through God's eyes I saw through my own and was selfish and told them "no".  I had the tires checked and went for a cup of coffee and when I started the car the heat wouldn't work.  I took the car back to the local shop , made an appointment, and prayed that nothing else would go wrong. 

Back at the church that afternoon my friends showed up to encourage me. God is just that awesome to realize that I was going to "feather dust" my whole time and that I needed some of his beloveds to check in with my personally to rally me.  By the afternoon I could hear "do you trust me?" and when I said "yes" I shouted with my whole heart and soul.

Things broke free by the next day as we had 18 kids come for Open Artroom.  When kids asked for a ride home Dale took them with blankets in the car to keep them warm on their ride.  It hit me that even a Sandymobile with messed up tires and no heat was a blessing not only to us but to those kids and families. In the following days the kid artists kept coming and we took five carloads of kids home in the Sandymobile, had 28-52 kid artists daily, held a "small mall" where I not only got to teach the kids what a mall is but let them shop for themselves and family.  The small mall gifted;  56 pairs of boots, 74 pairs of shoes, two pairs of cleats, football pads, two trash bags filled with flannel shirts, two tubs of mittens, gloves, scarves, along with kids and adult clothing. We were able to set up a "giving tree" at the back of All Tribes Fellowship filled with hats, scarves, gloves, and legwarmers before leaving that will bless the families in Wagner. 

Within less than five days we had the money for the tires and to fix the heat in the Sandymobile. That happened because instead of "feather dusting" I chose to clean.  To clean means to see the world with God's eyes, ears, and heart and be light, love, and grace.  When you clean it takes time, it requires doing things that we don't want or that makes you uncomfortable, but once it is done it just feels better.

I was reminded of "feather dusting" this week and challenged to write a blog about it.  I want to encourage each of you to stop "feather dusting" this year and start to clean.  Cleaning is harder, it makes us have to yell back "I trust you" to God, and to go on to be light, grace, and beauty when you'd rather curl up, surrender, and cry.

Last week I found a ton of kids winter boots at a thrift shop for fifty cents a piece.  I thought, "geez, why couldn't I have found these before Wagner".  I could have chosen to "feather dust" and walk away crabby. But I realized that my friend that lives in Wagner was in KC for the holidays who agreed to take them.  I bought two trash bags filled with kids boots and spent $14 to try to be light to the kids that we left without boots rather than "feather dust".

I mentioned that I couldn't determine what was missing from the weaving so I started to write this blog. My friend in Wagner sent me a message that said "the boots are amazing!!" with a pic of one of our kid artists with his new boots.  It dawned on me hat I had small strips from my latest work "feather dusting" that I trimmed and was going to toss.  I took those small strips from my work and wove them with the kid artists work and the result was beautiful and ready to be framed. 

This afternoon I'm thankful for ; finished artwork, the ability write this blog, to be light, grace, and love, and for friends that are there to rally your spirit & take your trash bags, and for the ability to see beyond "feather dusting".

Peace be with you- Sherry

UPDATES

• The Sandymobile rolled us into KC at 3am on Christmas day. Thanks to each and every that were praying over our trip to Wagner, donated to get repairs made, and prayed for safe travels on our way home.
• I'm looking forward to having kid artists in my studio starting next week for Creation Station kids art classes.  I've got a full schedule of art classes for January posted on the Mamasunbear2 Facebook page.  
• Emily received a full scholarship through Vocational Rehab this week so she can go back to college full time.  She is hoping to go to Northwest Missouri State this coming fall. 
• I'm focusing on my artwork this year.  I'll be adapting my Etsy shop to sell some of my original pieces within the next couple of months and am looking for other avenues to display my work in the KC area.