2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord isn't slow to do what he promised, as some people think. Rather, he is patient for your sake. He doesn't want to destroy anyone but wants all people to have an opportunity to turn to him and change the way they think and act".
I was born a hope-r. What's that? It means that I see the silver lining in tough situations. I give the benefit of the doubt to the end. I see the world with rose colored glasses. I remember as a kid my mom saying to me to "take off the rose colored glasses and get real"...I had no idea what she meant because I didn't wear glasses.
This week has been tough for me physically. I was losing my battle with a Crohns flare up from last week and then the first migraine hit. The migraine hit so hard in fact that I wanted nothing more than to wrap the covers around me and cry in my bed all day. The migraines have been relentless. I think that they are gone and by the afternoon they are back. I actually had a great day Saturday and then by 11:00 pm the migraine was back in full force.
Last night was too much. Too much pain physically. By 3:30 in the morning I was in tears and begging God to help me. I felt a wave of warmth overcome me. I felt like our Heavenly Daddy was saying "hey, kid, what's wrong, tell me so I can fix it". It made me stop crying to surrender my pain and tell Daddy that I need the pain to stop so I could sleep. Within minutes I was sound asleep and woke up 4 hours later without a migraine and the swelling in my body was manageable.
I asked our Heavenly Daddy for a word. Just give me a word, Daddy. It is what I have done since I was a kid and it always soothes my spirit. The word I got was "butcher" and I broke into tears, got dressed, and decided I was going to run away from home. Have you been there, friends, when the pain you feel physically or soulfully is so much it makes you want to run away?
My grace is that my husband backed my red VW bug out of the garage for me to take. I took my Bible, my journal, and my sketchbook and stopped for a tea. I drove down the familiar highway out of my small town and asked again for a word. "Butcher" came again and tears flowed. I noticed my hawk in the sky. I decided to follow my hawk. My hawk led me to a park about 30 minutes from home.
I felt strangely at peace as I watched the water flow from the dam. I remembered how my friend in South Dakota told me that flowing water is a symbol to release yourself and situations to God. I sat there and surrendered my burdens. I asked for a word. "Butcher, baker, candlestick maker".
Ok, friends, it was that simple nursery rhyme about the three men a tub. Butcher wasn't meant as a personal dig at me. Here is what Butcher means; there are tough things that each of us have been through. It could be mean words or actions. It could be a current situation or one from childhood. It could be something that we have done or something that was done to us. When we hold onto those things we become the "butcher" because we choose how the world defines us.
We are the "butcher" when we choose to believe we are less than a beloved child of God. We are the "butcher" when we choose to solve all our problems by ourselves. I am a "butcher" when I forget to let God in on all the details; from the small to the big. I was reminded today sitting in my car that I am not alone anymore. That I have accepted Christ and I can never ever be alone again because it doesn't work that way. I am the daughter of the King of Kings. I am beloved, worthy, smart, capable, and make impeccable decisions with my Heavenly Daddy.
I began to once again recognize the truth of who I am. I get the choice to say that was my past, it happened, and I am still here. I made it through. You get that opportunity too, friends, you are not your circumstance. You are strong, capable, and a beloved miracle of the King of Kings. You have purpose and promise from our Heavenly Daddy.
Here is my story from this past week; I am physically not a 16 year old and have some medical problems that make me move slow. I am going to trust the migraines will cease and that the scans I have later this week will show I am as beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside. I bought a new car last month and now it has a sound that is coming from it occasionally. The hubs checked it out this morning and believes there is a cover to something that is flapping. That does not make my decision to buy my car dumb or wasteful. It means I am listening to God and asking for his blessing with the car before I bought it and now. I am surrendering the flap problem to God and asking for his protection over Emily and I because we have to use the new car tomorrow to go to MU and trust his goodness for my life and Emily's life. I trust God will keep us safe in the "silver fox" and that we will make it home safely so I can take it to my mechanic. I trust that when I share my testimony later this month that it will be a blessing to another. I trust that I am qualified to speak because God designed me to speak this year and be open and transparent. I am aligned with my Heavenly Daddy and I am not alone and never will be again to make decisions, when I am hurt, or when its the very best day ever. He shares it all with me and there is no other way.
Friends, I have no idea what your story is from last week, last year, or now. I do know that I want to speak in life into you. I don't want you to be a "butcher" I want for you to be free. I will be praying that this encourages you. I would love for you to share this with others. If you would like me to pray over you and your situation please message me. It is my honor and privilege.
Walk in Mercy and Peace;
Sherry
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