Hot Mess

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.  -Ezekiel 36:26

Last week Emily & I spent the week cleaning and organizing the artroom.  To say the artroom looks like a "hot mess" right now would be putting it mildly.  As Emily & I hung out and learned how very differently we organize things....lol.  I had planned on spending all last week on the artroom and getting it done.  Well, I get tired easier and break into cold sweats followed by fevers.  So, let's just say that I'm giving us the whole month to dedicate to getting the artroom in order. 

That being said I had planned for a whole different blog for the week.  But last night my sister in law called my hubby.  Their mom moved back to Japan a couple of years ago to live out her days with her family there.  Long story short is their mom got a hold of my sister in law a couple of months ago saying she was ill.   Yesterday, my sister in law, got a call from their family in Japan to say that they took Aiko (Ted's mom) to the hospital last week and on Sunday she went into a coma.  The rest of the conversation was filled with trying to figure out details and what they should do.  They are planning on talking again tonight.

This call brought up a flood of emotions for our whole family.  Ted grew up in an abusive household. Long ago we realized that his mom was mentally ill, manipulative, and unkind to say the least.  Her odd behavior, manipulations, and abusive words came to a head a few years ago after we moved her to KC.  We had prayed over it and thought maybe if she had us to check in on her and she could see her grand kids regularly it would heal her heart and spirit.  Needless, to say that didn't work and although our family prayed together for God to restore her heart and mind she continued to escalate her unusual behavior and abusive ways.  When she left for Japan a couple of years ago we all breathed a sigh of relief and prayed to God to keep her safe and help restore our family.

After praying  last night about the situation  I ran across Ezekiel 36:26.  I've been praying over this for myself, Ted, Emily, and Dale today.  I'm asking God to forgive our hearts that were broken, protective, and stubborn when dealing with Aiko.  I'm asking God to allow the tender and responsive heart that we have to lead the way to help Ted through this.

 I know that his heart and mind hurt inside about his mom.  He is filled with regrets that he couldn't help her. That she didn't change even though he prayed. And that no matter how many times he tried to reach her with the love of God she refused to hear him.  For Ted today I prayed that God give him a new heart and spirit.  That God take out his stubborn heart that is filled with self doubt, defeat, and hurt and in place put a restored heart that is tender and responsive to the needs of his family, friends, and community. 

That verse got me to thinking about all those less than ideal relationships that we all have. It might be with a family member, co-worker, neighbor, or friend.  Shoot, I had a teaching job that I loved at one time.  But a co-worker poked fun of me for coming early to the school to pray over my students and my teaching abilities.  It literally broke my spirit and made me never want to teach ever again.  What is that relationship for you?  What would happen if you were able to take the high road, remain positive, and be who God designed you to be?  How could that be possible? 

I'm thinking perhaps by praying over a verse like Ezekiel 36:26 and asking God for his mercy and care with that person.  I know that even though I prayed over that co-worker and my ability to stay positive I didn't renew my contract the next year at the school.  It was just too much for me to take.

I prayed over my relationship with my mother in law since before she was my mother in law.  My prayers started for Ted's parents and sister after I met them for the first time. I know that with my relationship with my mother-in-law I became guarded over my children and my husband because of her manipulations and abusive words.  I even told her that she could say or do anything to me but to leave the kids and Ted out of it.  I thought I could save the kids and Ted and take on her "hot mess".  But in the end I couldn't solve her problems, make things better, or get the happy loving family relationship that I craved.  I simply had to give up and put that relationship to an end. 

Sometimes once you pray for God to help you take the high road, be positive and who he designed you to be he opens a door.  Now, maybe that door is one that you close by leaving a job that you love, or cutting off a relationship with a friend or relative.  I know those things are difficult but after living & learning I've come to accept these things for a fact : 1. God wants for his people to be happy, 2. God wants his people to be safe, and 3. God never intends for you to be hurt or abused.  If that is happening he wants for you to leave.

This week I'm praying over my own "hot mess" relationship and using Ezekiel 36:26 to guide me when I talk with Ted about his mom.  I'm praying that I can be there to listen to Ted, support him through my strength, and pray over him for God to guide and protect his heart, spirit, and mind. 

My challenge is simple for each of you this week.  Ask God for the ability to stay positive, allow your heart to be opened and for his strength to take over when you deal with "hot mess" situations  this week and see you through.

Blessings on your week-Sherry

Update:

• I've got a doctor's appointment on the 16th which is next week and then another on February 25th.  Pray that I've got the finances to make it to both, that the test results from the 16th are good, and that I'm able to see what I need to do with my health on the 25th.
• We had great news last week.  Emily went to the doctor and she got a letter stating that he feels that she can pursue a career in nursing.  Why is that so important?  Well, she can get a VoTech scholarship for $1,000 per semester and her textbooks paid.  This week we are planning on making calls and an appointment to Longview.  She is planning on taking a couple of summer classes to make up for this semester and they start in May.
• Last week our furnace stopped running.  We were blessed to have a friend loan us space heaters for the night.  And, the furnace got fixed by noon the next day.  And, the blessing was our repairman waited for payment until Friday on Ted's payday.  
• My latest letter to my mom and brother came back in the mail as return to sender.  It breaks my heart but I'm determined to keep sending them.  I re-addressed an envelope today and mailed them back. 
• Please pray for Ted and our family this week.  It's never easy to know your parent is sick but Aiko, Ted's mom, is literally an ocean away.  Pray that God can help heal Ted's wounded heart and spirit and allow him strength and courage to keep going for his family. 
• Finally, Emily & I are working through the artroom menagerie.  Pray that God continues to allow us a sense of humor as we work, my ability to say stop when I feel tired and worn out, and that we get things together in a timely manor.  I feel like I can be a blessing through the creative workshops I intend to do there.  I also came up with the idea of doing a WOW (workshops on wheels) for preschools and daycares.  And, I even thought of using the idea of a WOW as a blessing for events within my community.  I'm praying on how to approach event planners and preschool providers this week that they would see my professionalism, love of art in my spirit, and what a blessing I could be.