This past month I was literally rocked & rolled in my life. I literally felt like ever move I made from small to large was being judged, directed, and critiqued by someone else. Have you been through a season of life like that? Or is it a daily occasion for you?
Let's face it no one likes to feel picked on. As kids we hated being chosen last for the kick ball team. Called names or made to feel cruddy about ourselves. Some of you grew up in a family that made you feel that way....ohh, my heart hurts for you. If you are like me you've had certain friends that made you feel less than, called you names, and hurt you. What's a gal with God's grace and dignity to do?
When I was young and idealistic I would have told you straight up walk away and never give those that hurt you another thought. But life is harder than that. These are the people that surround us, our neighbors, co-workers, friends, spouses, and kids. What are we to do with difficult people that literally drain us, make us question who we are, and hurt us. I had to take a looky loo in my Bible to find some scripture that would renew me. I went straight to Luke 12:22-34.
"Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".
Know why I love these verses? They were my go to as my marriage was crumbling apart and I was on my hands and knees begging God to help me. Long story short I was separated for three years. God did a work in my hubby's life and took care of Emily & I. And, I had time to find my voice and say what is acceptable and unacceptable in my life....yeah, those were three hard years but I'm thankful God put me in them. And, I love ravens from being an English major ....lol.
But what I find in these verses is a comfort that God knows about our challenges. He already knows them and knows whose in your life that hurts you. I honestly believe that and believe that he wants you to find help through him. For me, in my marriage, it was being on my hands & knees begging to God after being beat for a couple of years regularly. I just couldn't take anymore, had hid it all, and tried to do everything that I knew to make it all right....and I couldn't. God took and sent the cops to my house yet again that day. And, I went to the door in tears and looked like a mess. I didn't stop to cover it all up. The cop told me a neighbor called and asked if I wanted help. And, I told him "yes". Know what he said, "Thank God, I've been praying about you".
He gave me directions to the court house, told me how to fill out the restraining papers, and said that if I needed help that I could call he or his partner. He shared that they get a lot of domestic calls but there was something about me that stood out and he prayed over. He and his partner loaded me and Emily up in the car and sent me on my way to the courthouse. The people there were just as helpful and kind. They looked over my paperwork and told me that it would be 24 hours until the had a decision but not to worry things looked in my favor. They gave me info for a local shelter but I was too ashamed to go there....one of my friends was a counselor there. Instead, I went home and prayed the whole way there for God's protection over Emily & myself. I had always prayed for Emily but never myself...that was too selfish over the years but that day it wasn't. It was at that point that God re-built my value & worth. I was blessed to be separated for three years from Ted so that he could give his life to God, allow God to work through his issues, and become the husband and dad that God wants him to be.
Over the years I feel like my value, worth, and if God loves me has been challenged. By me and by others. I've found my voice to tell others that "I've got value and worth in this world. You may not see it but God does and I know it". This past month that has been questioned time and time again by friends. They question my core values, what I believe, and even who I am. When I've asked to help with things I know I'm capable of and want to do I've literally heard crickets. And, that has broken my spirit and caused me to cry out to God and ask him what my worth and value is to Him. It brought me to a dark place where I felt that I had none. What did I do?
I found myself reading daily from Luke 12:22-34 and calming the storm that is in my spirit. I've given it up to God and ask him to lead, direct, and take over. I'm done, outta here, and had enough with situations and people. I told my Heavenly Father I have no idea what I should do or turn to. I shared that I thought I knew what he wanted and told him how sorry I was if I only heard myself.
Know what God did? He sent three friends to call me. One writes Christian curriculum, one is an editor, and one serves in ministry at her church. And, you know what they have in common? They all want me to work with them. They have asked before but I always put them off because I thought service needed to happen here in my own community and church. Know what? God is knocking down that door and boldly telling me to go out in the world. This is what he's got planned for me. One of them listened as I told her what was going on and said, "Sherry, do you have Skype?". I told her nope and she said, "Get Skype and let me know. I'll talk with my team and we are going to pray for you. As soon as you can Skype we are going to get working together".
Then, I had a pastor from a church in Dallas contact me about my blog. He got a hold of it from someone at his church. He valued what I was doing through my blog and loved the workshops that I was holding in my artroom. He asked if he & his congregation could pray for me. And, wanted to know if I would be all right with him sharing my story. He & his women's ministries leader want to Skype with me about what I'm doing for my community and my story.
And, God, didn't stop there he sent three moms with special needs kids my way this past week. They called out of the blue and asked if I would talk with them about the workshops that I doing. They asked if I would want to work with them to make them available to kids with disabilities. We met to get a better idea of how I can help their kids and pray together. Ohh, God moves and shakes doesn't he when you relent all that hurt. He's allowed me to see my worth, value, and what I can do for His glory and I love it.
I want each of you to know that you have value, worth and mean something to our Heavenly Father. He cares for you! Worried about your job, difficult co-worker, bully of a friend, or hurtful family member? Go to God and let it all out. I like to think that I'm releasing the "cracken" like a pirate....lol. Once, it's released and out there God can re-build you. He created you as a person of value, worth, and strength....now let him work.
Peace Be With You-Sherry
Updates:
- This week I'll be learning to Skype...pray for me. I'm so excited but a little scared because I don't know how to use it.
- The past two weeks the kids workshops have been ahhh-mazing. I've got more kiddos than I ever could have prayed for coming....God is good.
- Pray for my ability to share my story with the people in Dallas this week. It's scary for me and challenging. It puts me in a place that I don't like to talk about....me. But I think they see something there....it's a God thing.
- Pray for my ability to work with the special needs kids moms. We are planning on meeting again this week. I pray that my words & actions be what God wants and that I can provide their kids and others with fab creative workspace.
- I need to go get my blood drawn and meet with my doctor soon. I've went a couple of months without doing it. I'm physically not feeling well and am tired a lot. I'm praying that it is all fine and a part of the journey of healing for me. Pray that I can afford to go and get it done...it seems there is always a bill, an emergency, or something else that gets put before me. Pray that God will open an avenue for me to afford the care that I need and deserve.
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