Peter Pan Is A Liar

I adore this title...why?  It encompasses my past year spent in solace, grace, and forgiveness with my Heavenly Father.  Through the radiation, chemo, lousy blood work, and even worse scans He was by my side.  He told me "you are mine".   He promised He had great things in store for me & that I had no idea all He was going to use me for.  For the first time in a long time I heard from our Heavenly Father in a deeply personal way that cornered my soul, filled my broken heart, and gave clarity to my mind. 

Just this week my darling dot had another seizure.  In my mind I knew what to do to help her.  Her head hit the marble tile in my bathroom.  Instantly I knew to drag her from where she hit to the wood floor so her head would stop hitting the marble.  And, when I went to drag her away by her feet and legs I didn't have the strength.  The hubs who was standing there told me to "MOVE" and got her to the wood floor.  I told him to sit on the floor and get her propped up as she was already starting to cut off her air.  He sat on the ground, picked up his precious daughter and got her propped by his strength behind her.  I got towels for the drool to wipe the blood and foam from my darling dot.  And, I wept out loud, and cried to our Heavenly Father, " Father you bring her back...bring Emily back to us. You have great things in store for her, Father" and she was back.

It left me thinking how many times has my Heavenly Father openly wept for me and cried out loud "I've got great things in store for you".  How many times has He done that for you?  I think perhaps mine started as a kid and continued a lifetime. 

Peter Pan warned "Once you grow up you can't come back".  That meant no more Neverland and adulthood in the book.  I feel like I've lived a lifetime thinking that very thing.  Locking away all those things that I adored in childhood; singing at the top of my lungs, making poms poms out of white floral bush branches, and chasing birds in hopes of catching one. Being a dreamer, loving art, being artsy, a peace punk, and a teacher.  I was reminded with the darling dot's seizure this week ; 1. We will not be broken, 2. Sherry you know the truth, 3. being filled with radiant light that warms my body, clears my mind, and sets my spirit free.  Its the realization of how graceful our Heavenly Father designed me & how he wove me.  Every chance encounter or coincidence is not that it is His majestic design and plan. And, yes, the times that I've felt alone, in despair, hurt by the world, closed in with darkness penetrating he was there saying, "Sherry you know the Truth".  Within the past year I've heard that spirit that lies within me that reminds me of the truth and reveals himself to me as I gain trust, confidence, and light. 

Yes, dear souls, Peter Pan is a liar.  You can go back to your true self as you were designed.  If you feel lost tell our Heavenly Father "I'm lost seek me, Lord" and you will feel found.  Trust, believe, and know you are His, precious friends.  He no longer wants to weep and cry out "I've got great things in store for you" while you turn to the worldly, the darkness, and deceptive thoughts.  Fix your eyes wide open, let His light radiate you, and flood every inch of your being.  Allow yourself the chance to be his beloved.  It feels just like being a kid; free from bills...can I get an amen for that? But it is the warmest light you will ever feel, the gentlest nudge on your heart that sets it back to where it was, and grace to love others with his grace. 

Peace be with you- Sherry

Updates:

• I had my consult this week.  My scan showed my intestines are clear  and the nodules in my stomach have shrunk.  And, for the first time in two years my blood work looks almost like a normal person.  My oncologist said the scan was good news but he was really encouraged when he got my blood work back because it looked really, really good.  He told me that we could continue chemo but that means that my immunity would be gone rather than compromised.  He said he knows me and what I love to do and want to do with art therapy and my artroom.  He asked if I felt like I had quality of life.  He told me that he felt encouraged to give me a chance at quality of life with a three month break from infusions if I ; took oral meds, got weekly blood work, and called if I feel crappy, get a cold, etc.  He said he felt confidant that the nodules will hold where they are which is smaller than they have ever been.  My other option is to continue infusions, kill off my immunity, put any thoughts of teaching art on hold for another 6 months to a year or to choose "quality of life".  I chose quality of life and am believing all is well & will be restored.
• We are still battling to get Emily disability health insurance because of her epilepsy diagnosis.  She has three seizures in the past two months and it is becoming apparent she desperately needs a specialist which requires insurance.  Pray for healing, safety, and courage for Emily.
• Dale is looking into college at Northwest Missouri State or community college for the first couple of years so we can afford KU eventually.  He is filling out scholarships and we are trusting God to place him where he intends.
• I will be posting Artroom classes over the weekend. The kids & I will be at a Vendor Blender in Pleasant Hill , Mo this weekend doing make & takes that highlight The Artroom.  I will also be engraving key necklaces at the event.  We would adore for you to come out and say hi & encourage my soul.