I Tried

  “You must ask for God's help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again.”― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

 The kids & I had a marvelous time donating movie ticket money to purchase kids tickets.  We were blessed to have friends that partner with us.  And, blessed that last night once those tickets were purchased I got to purchase to more for my own kids to go to the movies.  

 We saw the "Justice League" which was a wonderful distraction for the three of us.  Early on in the movie there are images of the world as they mourn Supermans death.  There was an image of a homeless man with his dog with a cardboard sign that read "I Tried".  It really got to me not because of the dog, the homeless crisis, or Supermans death.  

 The simple cardboard sign that read "I Tried" is what did it.  It left me thinking and rethinking throughout the movie, last night, and into the morning how many times I try to do the right thing,  I try to be kind, I try to impact the same love that God gifts me daily.  At the end of each day I hang my head for God's grace and mercy to wash over me because it didn't feel like quite enough.  

The magnitude of what the world is facing, the magnitude of what my own family is facing and myself bears and wears on my soul.  I bet it does yours too.  And, at the end of the day as I ask for God's grace and mercy to wash over me I bear the sign of "I Tried".  That is really why that small segment of the movie got to me and stuck with me.  

What if I stopped saying "I Tried" and change it to a present day tense...bear with me I was an English major once long ago.  What if today I started saying "I Try" and each evening as I humbly ask for Gods grace and mercy instead of feeling inept I know in my heart, mind, and spirit that "I Try". 

Try defined means:  make an attempt or effort to do something. That means that I start a task, I attempt it, and there is effort in it.  Does it mean I complete it ?  No, but I sure can "try".  I realized within the first years of teaching that I was not going to change the world or the 25 precious souls in my classroom.  I did realize that each child and family that I came into contact with would know what it is to ; feel safe, cared for, be given the ability to learn, and to feel welcomed and dare I say "loved" during their year in my classroom.  I recognized it as a small simplicity that became not only my teaching mission statement but my mission statement in life. 

 This morning I was going to hit "publish" and something stopped me.  I found myself reading in James 1:1-6 ;"James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting. My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed". 

James encouraged my heart that I'm on the right path with "I try" but that I'm forgetting to include Him in that mission statement.  It isn't about me perchance it is about God and fully leaning into Him in faith to accomplish small, mediums, and large in our lifetime.  That still may be one child, one family, or one person that you make an impact on...or perhaps it is you that is changed for the better to face the light rather than darkness.  

May I find the stronghold of His light in my daily life. May I never waver in faith and ask my Heavenly Father who has been patiently waiting for me to seek the gifts and uniqueness that I bring to the world.  This afternoon I'm willing to "try" because James tells me that He does things "liberally.  How awesome is that?  Are you willing to "try" today?  Me too.     

Peace be with you-Sherry

 

Update: 

We've been in Wagner for exactly one week today.  I've been challenged to be "bold" with the kids and feel like I'm failing.  Yesterday, out of the blue on the girls says to me, "I've got a song, Sherry, and I know you'll like it". She started playing it on her phone and then singing to it along with two other girls.  It was a song about Jesus being their superhero.  The group from Harrisonville this past summer.  I asked them if they knew Jesus and what did that mean to each of them....yes, the old school Lutheran girl is alive and well. The girl that began singing the song told me that Jesus is the light in the world so she doesn't have to be afraid. Another said He is like our heart full of love and goodness.  Then one girl shared that she sang the song because it was catchy and the people that came before us this summer were fun and it was something to do.  She told me that she met us and she knew who Jesus was not because we told her about him but because we showed her about him.  I asked how?  And, she said, "who comes to Wagner on Christmas to do art stuff and hangout ?"...yeah, that would be us.  I'm grateful for the girls "boldness" and out ability to be His light in our words and actions.  Praise God...and doing a happy dance.

• We leave on Saturday morning to head back to KC.  Please pray for good traveling weather and God's favor to get us back to Pleasant Hill.