Yes, I admit it, I love Stevie Nicks, & Silver Springs is on my list of top 10 songs from my life. I heard it as a kid and loved the poetry of it. When I grew up and was separated from my hubs I would play it and sob for a life lost. When we reconciled a few years later I would play as a victory anthem. Now, I hear that melody and chorus "time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too..." and it brings to me to tears because I think of my relationship with our Heavenly Father and how long he waited for me to know I was His. To actually rest in His security and trust Him...wowsies, let's just say we both got "older".
This morning Silver Springs is on my mind and that melody. I feel the Lord saying "your older now be bolder". Uggh, but Heavenly Father I love being a sneaky Christian that others would see your light in me & your wisdom & grace in my actions. Seriously, I said, I don't want to be that girl with the bull horn for you Lord. And, his reply "what are you going to do...I didn't know it was a choice".
How do you respond to that? I mean its one thing to rebel against earthly parents, right and their wishes? But when your Heavenly Father lays it out...how do you respond? I simply heard the refrain from Silver Springs "time makes you bolder". It gave me clarity when I needed it. It boosted my soul and spirit, and allows me to "boldly" think with clarity and purpose this morning. It is the first time that I have planned all the The Artroom classes before the end of the month. It is the first time that I see that I am literally holding in all the goodness graciousness with God by not seeking others to partner in my adventures. It made me "boldly" post on social media asking for people to partner with the kids & I as we prep to leave for Wagner, South Dakota next week. It has me posting in groups I belong to with lists of supplies. My dream of gifting 30 kids with movie tickets seems more of a statement of what will be than just an aspiration.
Wednesday of next week the kids and I are headed back to Wagner, South Dakota. We will spend Christmas and the break there doing Open Artroom with the families and kids in the community. I've planned a series of "light" inspired art activities and mad scientist lab projects that will be "teachable God moments" which will cause not only me but my kids to be "bold".
This week has left me knowing our Heavenly Fathers "boldness" for me. I met a friend for tea yesterday and she asked what kind of funding I have for The Artroom and our travels to South Dakota. I told "me and my husband". She remarked that it wasn't about just us. She challenged me to think what we could do with some help. She is getting me in contact with a grant writer that will help me to write a business plan and then apply for grants and she also has a 501 number for non-profits that her group wants to offer to help me. That is provision directly from our Heavenly Father. I started writing a business plan a couple of years ago and it was daunting to say the least. Then, I got the diagnosis of ovarian cancer and finding funding for The Artroom was lost.
To His glory he saw my vision of The Artroom and kept it silent as I went through chemo and radiation and continue to fight cancer. He took away pieces of me last year, all my norms, all the things I was were gone. He left me with one thing ""you are mine" and I felt in my soul that I had no idea what or how he was going to use me for His glory but that it was far greater than I could comprehend. This week I am feeling His truth and recognizing and praising Him for it.
All that being said..."time makes you bolder, children get older, and am getting older too". I know my soul worth and title is as His beloved and not of this world. I realize that my roots were never here in this world and cancer was my wake up call to the truth in my life. I realize the ramification of what he intends and when he says "I didn't know it was a choice" it allows me to freely lift all cares up to Him and live bold.
May we live in "boldness". Peace be with you.
Updates:
- Continued prayers and messages and calls on Emily's behalf. She does not have health insurance and we are coming on 3 months when they will determine if she qualifies for disability health insurance. Pray for God's favor.
- We leave next Wednesday for Wagner, South Dakota. Pray for safe travels for the kids and I to get there and get home. Ted will be home with the dogs and although miles will separate us our hearts are united in being God's light.
- Message me if you would like to donate materials, snacks, or help with movie money for our trip. I can give you more details.
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