Romans 8:37-39 - No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
How do we find rest during a season of change? If you are looking for answers you came to the wrong gal. This past week I wished that I had leverage to fight this season of my life. I grew up with a dad that when I was in trouble he fixed it. He had connections that could make it all right...maybe not perfect but bearable. And, I don't have my dad as my "leverage" in the world. He passed away 23 years ago.
I know that seems a little weird and random right? I would want my dad that was the "fixer" that leveraged his connections to make things good for his kids & wife? If I had problems with our insurance company back in the day he would have "fixed" it or paid the premium for me. He would have made sure that his daughter could afford medical care. That she knew she was loved and cared for....but nope he's not here.
There have been so many times, places, and problems life has thrown my way that I missed having my dad around. He was my biggest fan, called me out on my crap, and challenged me to be better than he was. When I got older and he got God in his life he would talk openly & honestly about his faith. He told me he prayed that I got it before I was old like him. He shared that God had remarkable things in store for me if I just left it all and followed him. He told me that he wasn't always going to be there but God would be. My dad told me that I was by far a better person than he ever could be if I let God lead the way.
Well, this year, I'm working with God and not against him. I've learned through being humbled this past year with being sick. I learned to ask others to help me....that was a huge one. I reach out, and genuinely tell people that I love them and mean it. This spring as I felt better I took on the challenge that God placed me with. To open my artroom up to my community. Being creative has always been a solace that God gifted me with. When things get rough I shelter myself through creativity. And, through opening my artroom I could see that others could find that same shelter from the world.
I'm learning this week a new meaning for "leverage". "Leverage" is having humility in your day. It is being humbled before our creator & having confidence that he will see you through. "Leverage" doesn't mean going out into the world for Jesus for your own personal gain while crushing others....it means that I go out into the world and set aside my advantages to serve others. It's learning to love our savior and showing it to the world around me.
I know that this past Sunday at City Market I used my "leverage" with God to be kind, approachable, and helpful to people that were passing by and those who saw me and asked me to help them. I know that is what I've been designed to do all along. I was designed with a teacher's heart. creative spirit, and smarts. God has allowed me the perfect timing in being ill to open my artroom. To reach out to my community and help to bring his solace through creativity to them. I love that I can equate "leverage" with solace....it's taken a while based on who my dad was & who I am as his daughter to learn but I've got it. "Leverage" doesn't have to be based on what you have, who you know. and who owes you favors. There is a heavenly "leverage" that God provides which is a peace & solace in even the worst seasons of our lives.
This week I've been working through paperwork to get a cancer advocate to help Ted & I battle with the health insurance company. I was blessed last week to get some pharmacy cards that can be used by our whole family for their meds. We still pay a percentage but it just might be doable which gives me hope. I've found solace in not being able to worship on Sundays in a typical manner. We've been going to City Market to sell my loot to help to pay our health insurance until this past week. This past Sunday I saw it as a way to reach out to others to be like Christ....yeah, it wasn't about the money. This past Sunday it was about me leaving all that personal gain & reaching out to connect, love, and care for others.
In reality I can see tons of opportunities to grow, strengthen, and serve like Jesus would rather than like Jesus is watching me. Maybe that is what makes the difference. Maybe that is where my solace & rest will come from in this season of change.
Peace Be With You- Sherry
Updates:
- I've got paperwork to fill out through Cancer Care to try to help with gas money to get to the doctor. That is the only assistance they offer since I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer rather than another cancer.
- I've been working with the Patient Advocate Foundation this past week to get an advocate for our case with the insurance company and to get some advice on my medical bills, etc.
- I'm blessed to spend some time to reflect on my life and what I need to do next. I'm blessed to have Tedster, Emily, and Dale here to help me through. I've often said that my kids are my saving grace that God gave me to show me the way....ahh, they really are. They are strong, capable, and are able to minister to my spirit beyond. How did they get so awesome over the years that they would be able to do that? I truly think that is why God blessed me with Dale & Emily. God knew I don't listen well, I'm headstrong, and think I can take on the world....but he gave me two kids that caused me to slow down, be a mom, think about them before myself...ohh, man, God is good.
- Prayers: Pray for me & the family in this season...it's bumpy but we aren't defeated. Pray that in the coming days I'm able to get an advocate provided to help me. Pray that I can find a freebie mammogram in the KC area. I've made calls and been turned down and so I'm not real clear on where to go for that one.
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