Northern Winds

" Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory." Psalm 50:15

 



Do you hear that roar outside your window?  If you are lucky it was just the north wind blowing this week.  I heard the north wind but I also have been hearing the wind that is brought on by the world too.  The worldly wind roars, wants you to get lost in the small details, have failures make you surrender, and wants you to lose what God uniquely has gave to you.

Yesterday, was trying for me.  I woke up feeling rested but not rested.   That statement doesn't make sense. Let me put it this way I was physically rested due to a fam that is going above and beyond to make my life easier.  But my heart and soul were worn, beaten, and bruised.  The world simply wanted to shut me up, shut me in, and silence me.  Instead, I got dressed & prayed over heading into KC for an iv infusion that God knew I didn't want to do.

What happened was the world hit like a ton of bricks.  They are trying to ease the nausea before the infusions with meds.  Last week I had an allergic reaction to the nausea med, Zofran.  This week they tried something different and my heart started racing and I literally felt like I was running a marathon while simply sitting in a chair with an iv running through my veins.  They were able to stop the reaction and let me rest before proceeding with the infusion.  Afterwards, I was tired mentally, physically, and cried to go home.

The world had other plans as my car overheated not once but twice on the way home from the infusion. I got pulled over to nab lunch for Emily and let the car cool down and discovered that I barely had enough cash for lunch for my kid.  I called Tedster  and wept in the restaurant, threw up twice, and literally sat in a stall in the bathroom and prayed that God take it all away because it was too much for me to handle.

Have you been there ?  Have you heard the world calling you out for not having the right car, the right body, the right finances?  Of course you have....we are not alone in the fight with the world over the judgements that it makes to mock, wound, and destroy both us, our families, and relationships.  And, if I'm honest it isn't the world rather than it is the enemy.  He loves to see us feel lost, alone, hurt, weary, and inept.  He sends things in this world to destroy our relationships with our Heavenly Father that would allow us to send fault on ourselves rather than feel victorious in our redeemer.

Literally, crying while in a bathroom stall and begging God to cover me, Emily, Ted, and Dale.  Begging God for his forgiveness in my daily neglect of him, and crying because I know my redeemer lives in my heart, mind, and spirit....I just need to call on him and he will bring me peace.  Do you realize that it is just that easy?  Call on him and ask for some peace....see what happens.

For me, I still have cancer cells that are being taken to battle through the transfusions and the meds to seal their fate.  Those infusions take the wind from my sails, cause me nausea that is unreal, and make me feel helpless to take on the role of wife, mom, and friend.  Know what I forgot in all that worldly misery?  That is is the world and not my Heavenly Father.  I forgot to call on Him and demand peace for my soul that is being rocked by the enemy.  Once I got that straight I do have peace and that worldly wind is blowing but it will not knock me down.

As, for today, my car still needs to have anti-freeze each week....it's old & is having to go into KC twice a week.  My nausea is horrid but it will not break me.  Feeling both physically, mentally, and emotionally challenged each day is less about me and more about my ability to give all that to my Heavenly Father and ask for him to fill me with peace.

I pray that as those north winds blow that you are safe & warm.  I also pray that as the worldly winds blow trying to take you down that you refuse to be defeated, cheated, and lied to by them.  I pray that you find the strength and courage to call on your Heavenly Father and demand his peace to wash over you and allow you to feel loved.

Peace be with you- Sherry

Updates:

• I've had several friends tell me that all I need to do is ask.  My plan is to get a hold of some of them to ask for smalls that our really need help with from grocery shopping, errand running, etc. I realize all too clearly that God is showing me that I can't do this fight on my own after yesterday.  I need the help and will be contacting several of you. 
• On February 13 (this Saturday) marks Tedster & I being married for 23 years....eeek!  To think that I met Tedster when I was 19 freaks me out a little.  And, it also, brings me to tears to celebrate the Lord for his mercies in our relationship...God is good.
• Thanks to all of you for your prayers & encouragement...God is good.