Run Across

Wowsies, its been a long time since I blogged!  Truth be told I haven't felt well enough for a while to sit, meditate, pray, and then blog. The chemo round that I did this summer completely wiped me out mentally, physically, and emotionally. I was plagued with mouth sores, a swollen throat, and the inability to talk beyond a whisper.  It was harder than the first rounds & challenged not only my body but my spirit.

This week I ventured back to my oncologist this week for a consult & to file financial assistance paperwork for drug companies along with blood work and a scan.  I found out that I need to check in with my primary doc in order to have him sign the referrals needed so I can see my oncologist and run tests.  And, lo and behold I can't get in for two weeks. It is never a dull moment, right?

I also stopped into a thrift shop down in the city to just gander around and digress from my day.  That's where I ran across a copy of The Creative Call by Janice Elsheimer.  Here's the description from the back cover " our creativity was meant to be used.  Whether you are an artist who has already identified your gifts or you have artistic talent that has never been developed.. The Creative Call will help you grow closer to becoming the person God designed you to be".

That was a total God moment for me.  There was no way that I just "ran across" this book, took time to read the back cover, and paid fifty cents for it.  You see this summer was rough on me physically because of the chemo that gave me lots of time with my bff nausea.  I also have been plagued with sores in my mouth and throat and loss of my voice more days than I care to count.  I also mourned the loss of time in my artroom to create.  I mourned not opening my artroom up to my community this summer and most the loss of the laughs & joy that stem from creativity happening in the artroom.

This month I finished the chemo round.  They told me what comes next and what oral chemo meds they want to use.  After receiving financial aid for the meds it was going to cost me $500 a week for the meds.  My Besty Bravada started to overheat last week.  I took it to the shop & found out that the repairs she needs are beyond what I can afford.  That flowed me into a weekend pity party. I felt totally out of control.  I couldn't afford the chemo meds and I couldn't afford the labor intensive work that needs to be done to my car.  The worst part was that it made me miss my dad.  He was my confidant & my "fixer" of all the wrongs in my world.  If I needed my car fixed he did it, someone hurt my feelings he listened to me, and if I needed money for chemo meds he would have made sure they were paid for.  But, I lost my dad over 20 years ago and in that moment all the pain became brand new.

I literally wept in my driveway with my kids holding onto me and praying over me.  I realized that I no longer had an earthly dad that would take care of my needs but I had a Heavenly Father that would and always had.  It was bittersweet to talk to God and tell him how sorry I was.  That I was being irrational and a brat.  I praised Him for guiding my path and allowing me to live in confidence that He would take care of transportation, cost for chemo meds, and any other curves the world throws at me. 

I realized that God is pressing me to be who I'm designed to be.  I always tell others that they can pretty much have anything that I have because its all just material stuff.  The situation with my Betsy Bravada causes me to back up those words "its all material stuff" & to recognize that my Heavenly Father has a plan for transportation for me even if I don't have a clue.

I also spent some time mulling over & praying about my artroom.  I rarely use it and when I do it is an all day love affair.  I prayed over opening on Sunday afternoons for a few hours for Open Artroom.  Open Artroom is when you come over, have a creative space, can use any and all of my supplies, and just feel free to gab, meet with friends, and work creatively.  It wouldn't require anything more from me than to life the garage doors and be a hostess....I kinda dig that idea.

Hope that you "run across" something, someone, or an idea that inspires you & requires you to think outside the box.  I hope that it causes you to re-think what you know & consider a new perspective that is what our Heavenly Father intends. 

Peace Be With You- Sherry

Updates:

• The Artroom will open on Sunday afternoons from 3-5 pm. It is a my creative space that has oodles of supplies.  We've also made a smallish coffee bar area & have a small frig if you bring a snack or drink that needs refrigeration.  It is also available by appointment.  If you have a Christmas project you need to work on my artroom is yours....just ask.

• My Betsy Bravada was a hard one for me.  Its been my car for 16 years.  Its kept the kids & I safe.  And, it did its final job in allowing me freedom to go through cancer, radiation, and chemo.  It has a cracked radiator and the ball joints are gone.  The repairs are costly because of the ball joints are labor intensive.  The part that makes me sad is that I had the total heating and cooling system replaced this summer in her and I was hoping to gift her to Dale as his first car to get him to school, youth group, and home. 

• My latest endeavor is selling vintage clothing and accessories via Etsy.  I have for the past 8 years but never really took that component of my Mamasunbear2 too seriously.  This year I've been challenged financially & haven't been able to work creatively freely.  What happened is that grace took over, my fashion passion, and some research.  I've launched a new genre of creativity for me that doesn't require me to work physically hard like re-doing furniture.  It does require me to use my love of fashion, my know how of marketing, and to creatively take pics & use social media.  All those things can be done in my pajamas or while resting.  Feel free to find me on Etsy, Instagram, or FB.  And, if you are looking for some vintage fashion come shop in my garage. I love that God guides me to do things that I know, love, and am capable of.
• I contacted my gal pals that I was writing curriculum with last year.  I took time off this year but felt compelled to get a hold of them this week.  They have a couple of smallish things that I can help write so I feel productive, can use my love of teaching, and share God's love.
• I was contacted about painting sets for the local community theatre.  I have accepted their challenge to paint windows for "A Christmas Carol" and am looking forward to working on the logistics & having Dale and Emily help me.