How was last week for you? Were you able to curb that mean girl and go forward with the gal that God designed you to be? I'm here to say that I was able to a majority of the time but fell short several times this past week. I call all my creative projects, WIPS, which stands for work in progress....I'm sure that God shakes his head with my mouth this past week & says "That Sherry is a WIP".
I was listening to the radio a couple of weeks ago and the song by Vance Joy came on called, "Mess is Mine". If you've never heard it feel free to You-tube. I feel in love with it a while back but was reminded why recently. The lyric " This mess was yours but now this mess is mine". Wowsies, what girl doesn't want to be told that? We all look for the knight in shining armor to shoop in & save the day when stuff gets bad.
I know that growing up that guy was my dad. He literally took on all our messes and made them work, do-able, and restored my brother & I . When I met Ted my dad instantly liked him. Ted met my parents for the first time on an Easter weekend when we were in college. I had packed half of my stuff in my car to take home for the summer. And, Ted, carried it all into the basement for me and my dad watched. My dad walked up to me and said, " Anyone that would carry all your junk so I don't have to is all right".
When I married Ted I knew he had issues but being the optimist that I am I knew that God & I could work them out....yeah, notice I didn't say just God? I constantly have to be in the mix. Some people call it "strong willed", "controlling", or "power hungry". I would say all three fit nicely to describe me. Shortly, after we were married I realized what I had gotten myself in with Ted and was to ashamed to admit defeat. I lived with him and his crazy until our daughter was two. I prayed on my hands and knees for God to fix the mess that my life had become with the sincerity of my soul. I couldn't fix Ted, I couldn't fix our marriage, and I was living with the shame of it all. God answered my prayers and provided me with people to help me. And, I saw what God could do once I relinquished control and He was allowed to take over Ted's world. God worked Ted's problems out by putting people in his world to help him, a Bible that he read, and acceptance & willingness in his heart.
Now, me, well, I'm a strong willed, capable, controlling WIP. Yeah, I still do think that my way is the best way most days. I love to extend myself out to help others but really wish they would just see things my way. And, yes, I'm here to help clean up the "messes" for my hubby, the kids, our dogs, friends, and others around me. Within the last couple of years with my medical stuff I wasn't able to be the end all of all and it hit me hard. I couldn't volunteer because I didn't feel good. I actually had to learn to ask for help from others, and I learned how to say "I love you" to not only Ted and the kids but to my friends and mean it.
Why? Because I learned that all my strong will, capable, controlling didn't help me. I was too prideful to ask for help so I didn't get any. I was in too much pain & thought that God wanted to break me. That he was cruel and wanted everyone to see what a mess I was. One of my greatest fears is to disappoint others....and God was doing that to me. I know he hated the messes that I made when I was younger, the choices that were less than pleasing, and the way I continued to be controlling, strong willed, capable on my own.
Last fall I was blessed to come to the conclusion that God isn't cruel, ruthless, and doesn't want our fears to be our reality. He literally wants to say "Hold on! Your mess was yours but now this mess is mine". I absolutely know that is the truth and I love how a song on the radio reminded me of the blessing that God gave me. He takes on our messes, battles, and struggles full force because he loves us. What do we have to do? Stop, seek Him, pray, and allow him to take over.
I've learned that doesn't mean that I stop. It means that I allow him to guide and direct the "mess". I called and got Emily to a neurologist last week. I called and got the colonscopy scheduled for tomorrow. I've known the doctors want it done but my old fears kick in. All along I have to hum "your mess was yours but now this mess is mine" and believe that God is going to help me through it.
Are you willing to give your "mess" up today? Or is that just too crazy to talk about? I hear you, been there and done that. I will challenge you to do it each and every day. Give God the opportunity to allow you to be a WIP and take on your mess.
God bless your mess & mine- Sherry
UPDATES:
1. Emily went last week to Dr. Hedges, a neurologist, in Lee's Summit. She is changing Em's meds around at this point. The blessing is that Em has May to get the meds regulated before she starts classes in June at Longview.
2. Pray for Emily. She broke down last week in tears. She shared with us how hard it has been to come home to help me. She told us that she thought it would give her time to re-group though. Em told us how heartbroken she is that she's not going to be a dentist because she's had that goal since she was 3. She is struggling with what she is going to do with her life and how to go into Mission Work. Pray for her that she's able to give up her "mess" and make it God's and allow Him to take over and heal her wounded heart, spirit, and mind.
3. My colonscopy is tomorrow. I'm officially on my cleanse in a few hours...lol. Once it is done and we know the results we can go from there. I also have to see a urologist soon. I have a fear factor of the cancerous mass that burst while getting out my left ovary has spread. I'm praying that those fears be silenced and that the doctors and tests help in silencing them.
4. The pics this week are from the Ladies Tea at my church. I was blessed to be a hostess and have Emily there to help me. Our current sermon series is on "The Pride" meaning like lions. So, I called the log in the center of my table "Pride Rock". I clipped scripture and family pics of the gals at my table (Facebook is a wonderful resource sometimes). Then, I laid two old Bibles I have from older friends that really loved and helped me in my Christian walk who have passed away. I told me gals that we were a "pride" and I was here to take care of them, had been praying for them, and loved each of them. It was my joy last week to do & I've continued to pray for each gal this week too.
No comments:
Post a Comment